Breeze-Courier | Taylorville, IL
weather sponsored by
Hickory Estates of Taylorville




Advanced Search
search sponsored by


LOGIN | SUBSCRIBE






home : columns : dear harriette August 19, 2017

   
7/1/2013 9:31:00 AM
Annie's Mailbox for July 1, 2013

Dear Annie: My wife of 38 years recently reconnected on Facebook with the guy she was seeing before we started dating. She spent a lengthy amount of time catching up with him on the phone and then asked whether I would be upset if she met with him to discuss the past 40 years. I didn't tell her "no," but I did say I wasn't crazy about the idea. She met with him anyway, but didn't tell me until I asked directly.

We briefly talked about their conversations, which included him saying that his wife told him their marriage would survive a one-night stand. Over the next two weeks, I discovered (via our cellphone bill) that he and my wife had had multiple long conversations. When I told her this upset me, she said she initiated the contact, adding, "I always cared for him and always had feelings for him." She saw nothing wrong with her behavior, claiming I would feel the same about my old flames.

I was angry and hurt. I said I could not accept her being in touch with this guy knowing she still has feelings for him and that they have discussed intimate matters. Although I did not forbid contact, I made it clear that she was crossing a line and jeopardizing our marriage.

To my knowledge, she has not met with him again. However, she insists there is nothing wrong with messaging him on Facebook. I am still bothered to know she is routinely in touch with this man. What do I do? -- Losing My Patience

Dear Losing: Your wife is flattered by this man's attention, and he makes her feel young again. This is a powerful draw, but it doesn't mean she is looking to have an affair. However, it is a betrayal for your wife to continue to be in contact with a man for whom she has feelings and who has made it clear that he is open to an affair. It is also disrespectful to you. If she cannot understand what a threat this is to your marriage, please ask her to go with you for counseling.

Dear Annie: My 34-year-old daughter is a cyclist and is incredibly dedicated to her sport. She is good at it, but not great, and I think she has sacrificed more than is healthy. She is currently unemployed and homeless because she won't take time away from her bike. When I bring up how concerned I am, she refuses to discuss it.

This is taking a toll on my mental health. I've been told that my daughter has some kind of eating disorder, but I think more than food is involved. I think she's addicted to endorphins.

Is there a support group for parents similarly concerned about their athletically obsessed children? I cannot possibly be the only one. -- Heartsick Mother

Dear Mother: Over-exercise is connected to eating disorders because both are about body image and control, and both involve compulsive behavior. In some instances, exercising is a way to purge food from the system, which is a form of bulimia. There are physical dangers in this, as well as mental health issues. Please contact the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (anad.org) and ask for help.

Dear Annie: I can relate to "Native New Yorker," whose voice is gravelly. My Southern accent was so pronounced and slow that when I moved west, people could hardly understand me. Wanting desperately to blend in, I sought the services of a speech therapist.

Her counsel began with a reminder that our voice makes us unique in a world of millions of people. She said to embrace the difference, adjust the tempo, think before you speak and enjoy the power of communication. For the record, I find "hoarse and gravelly" very sexy. -- Back in Jacksonville, Texas

Dear Texas: No one need be ashamed of his or her speaking voice. Thanks for expressing it so well.

Happy Canada Day to all of our readers up north.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.


Anderson Jewelers




Article Comment Submission Form
Please feel free to submit your comments.

If you are looking for the SPEAK OUT submission form, you can find it by clicking here: Speak Out Form


Article comments are not posted immediately to the Web site. Each submission must be approved by the Web site editor, who may edit content for appropriateness. There may be a delay of 24-48 hours for any submission while the web site editor reviews and approves it.

NOTE: All information on this form is required. Your telephone number and email address will not be displayed or shared.
Submit an Article Comment
First Name:
Required
Last Name:
Required
Telephone:
Required
Email:
Required
Comment:
Required
Passcode:
Required
Anti-SPAM Passcode Click here to see a new mix of characters.
This is an anti-SPAM device. It is not case sensitive.
   











Dr Paul The Dentist
Trinity Dodge Fixed

NewsWebPagesOpinionPeopleObituariesAg & BusinessSportsContact Us
Subscriptions | Username & Password Reminder | Change Password | Life

Breeze-Courier & Printing | 212 S Main St. Taylorville, IL 62568 | (217) 824-2233 |
website@breezecourier.com

© Copyright 2014 Breeze-Courier & Printing. All Rights Reserved.
Original content may not be reprinted or distributed without the written permission of Breeze-Courier & Printing.

Software © 1998-2017 1up! Software, All Rights Reserved