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home : columns : dear harriette May 24, 2016

2/18/2014 11:12:00 AM
Reader ready to meet man from Facebook

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for an airline company, and I am required to fly at least 20 days out of the month. The upside is that I am able to see the world; the downside is that my social life is terrible. I recently met this man on Facebook, and he seems nice. We talked on the phone for about three hours; he understands my plight as a flight attendant. He is familiar with my job responsibilities because he has dated a flight attendant in years past. He also makes me smile every time we talk on the phone, and I would like to meet him in person. Do you think it is strange for me to meet this man in person because our first interaction was via a social media platform? -- Friendly Skies, Queens, N.Y.  

DEAR FRIENDLY SKIES: These days, plenty of people meet thanks to social media platforms. As with any other type of first meeting, you want to take it slowly. Meet in a safe location, meaning not in either of your homes, like at a restaurant, movie theater, gallery, etc. -- someplace where other people are present.  

You should give this man a chance. One way you will be able to tell if he is a potential candidate for you romantically is to make a list of the qualities you feel are important in a relationship. List them individually and then as you talk to this man, listen to hear if he falls into any of your categories. Do not fill your list with fluff, like how he looks or whether he has a six-pack. Wanting him to be healthy is fair. Making sure he is single and available to be in a relationship should be non-negotiable.  

Take your time. If you two like each other after one meeting, select another time when you are in the same area to meet again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My part-time assistant of the past three years is about to move away because she is graduating from college. I am so proud of her. I have watched as she has blossomed into a fine young woman. She has been an amazing support to me in more ways than I can even outline. I want to do something special for her when she graduates. Times are lean in my business, so I can't afford to do anything lavish. But I do want to send her off in a meaningful way. What do you recommend? -- Grateful, Detroit

DEAR GRATEFUL: Why not take your assistant out to dinner at a restaurant that you believe she would enjoy? If you know any of her friends or co-workers with whom she would enjoy sharing this experience, invite them as well. Make it a celebration by hosting it in her honor and using the time to have everyone tell stories about her and have her talk about her plans for the future. Pledge to stay in touch, and follow up on that promise.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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