2/22/2014 12:17:00 PM Establishing apartment rules should help budget
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends stay at my apartment a couple of nights during the week. It's a nice apartment and convenient to where they work, plus they live far away. They could at least help out with paying for the toilet paper or groceries, but I don't know how to get that point across, especially since they are on budgets. They see me as privileged and think I don't need help financially. What should I say? -- Feeling Unappreciated, New York City
DEAR FEELING UNAPPRECIATED: There is a simple solution to your problem: You must establish house rules with your friends. This starts with your acknowledging that you, too, have a budget. Honestly, everyone should, regardless of how much money you have.
Sit your friends down and tell them that now that you have established a pattern with them where they live at your apartment on a weekly basis, you want to review what is important to you for them to do. Point out that now that you have more people in the house, provisions run out much more quickly. Tell them that you would like for them to contribute to the weekly budget for toiletries, including toilet paper, and food. You can come up with a weekly number that feels right, or ask them to purchase certain items on a regular basis so that they can be active participants in keeping the household going.
I doubt that they will mention your "privilege," but if they do, point out to them that everyone has a budget, including you. You are attempting to be responsible as far as managing your household, and you ask them to honor that while they are staying with you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: While your advice for "Feeling Used" and his family members to hire a financial planner was a positive step, from experience, I would make one more recommendation.
Before Feeling Used allows family members to depend financially on him, he should recommend that they take part in a financial class, such as the Dave Ramsey class.
Feeling Used could explain that there may be a day when he is no longer able to help or something would happen to him that would leave family members in a difficult situation. Feeling Used could explain that it would be a disservice to fail to prepare them for the future.
If the family members do not want to take steps to manage their own finances, then Feeling Used would know their motive is to depend on his fiscal responsibility and not develop their own. He can determine from there how much he wants to contribute to members who want him to finance them. -- Draw the Line, Sparta, Mich.
DEAR DRAW THE LINE: Education is everything, isn't it? Thank you for your guidance on how to protect your money and your family. When all parties are being responsible, it's less likely that anybody gets abused.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to email@example.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)