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home : columns : dear harriette April 24, 2017

Friends take pranks too far on april fools' day
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a sophomore in college, and I feel like I'm still getting tested by my peers. This past April Fools' Day, my friends dragged my mattress out onto the street, filled my blow-dryer with baby powder and put mayonnaise in my shoes. I enjoy a good prank, but I seriously believe this went too far. My shoes are ruined, my blow-dryer is not back to normal and I had to haul my mattress back upstairs all alone. Do I have the right to be upset, or should I ease up in the spirit of the holiday? -- Too Much, Atlanta 
Saturday, April 22, 2017


Anderson Jewelers

Husband's birthday gift disappoints reader
DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday just passed, and my husband got me a "pricey" perfume that I wanted. I use quotations because upon opening it, I saw that it was a knockoff brand. I don't think he knows this perfume is not the one I wanted at all because the outside packaging was nearly identical. Should I tell him or just throw the fake perfume out, hoping he won't notice? -- Fake Gift, Real Sentiment, Detroit
Friday, April 21, 2017

Reader wants roommate's boyfriend to pay bills
Thursday, April 20, 2017

Stepdad's attempt at bonding falls flat
Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Now is the time to bring up idea of a move
Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Don't write off beau after honest mistake
Monday, April 17, 2017

Group must agree when splitting prize money
Friday, April 14, 2017

Poor eyesight creates awkward moments
Thursday, April 13, 2017

Weekend job is no cause for embarrassment
Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Delivery people need not know your business
Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Student wants to fly solo during time abroad
Monday, April 10, 2017

Reader accidentally sees friend's abusive message
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently using my friend's laptop, and a message from her boyfriend came up on the top right corner. I did not open it to read it in its entirety, but it appeared as though he was being emotionally abusive and gaslighting her in the message. How do I tell her about his manipulative techniques without my friend getting mad at me for reading her messages? -- Faux Beau, Milwaukee 
Friday, April 7, 2017

Reader wonders if gift cards are too impersonal
DEAR HARRIETTE: Is a gift card an impersonal gift? Sometimes I find myself too busy or at a loss for ideas when it comes time to give presents. For example, I got my friend a gift card to a store I know she likes. I felt bad, but also knew it would be put to good use. Should I have gone to the store and picked something out that she may have returned instead? -- Gift Card, Raleigh, North Carolina
Friday, April 7, 2017

Lunch eater wants to move away from loud people
Thursday, April 6, 2017

Friend may not have confided for professional opinion
Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Mom worried about leaving son alone with husband
Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Reader questions need to buy souvenirs
DEAR HARRIETTE: When going abroad, is there still an expectation to bring back souvenirs for friends and family? I feel like I have never appreciated a keychain or refrigerator magnet, but I do not want to offend anybody. -- Tchotchkes, Dallas 
Monday, April 3, 2017

Mom doesn't know not to comment on weight
Saturday, April 1, 2017

Reader feeling fine after mother's death
Friday, March 31, 2017

Kids need direction when traveling to the city
Thursday, March 30, 2017

Reader uncomfortable with boss's personal texts
Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Ex snoops on reader's linkedin profile
Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Reader needs help going into networking event
Monday, March 27, 2017

Reader not sure about mentioning friend's teeth
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Lauren" is very outgoing and kind. I have noticed her teeth becoming more damaged and yellowed in the past few months. We regularly speak about our various health ailments, and she has not mentioned her teeth.
Saturday, March 25, 2017

Reader thinking of co-worker as more than a friend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have started thinking about my co-worker, "Oliver," as more than a friend. We have had a very flirtatious relationship filled with banter, but have never followed through on it.  
Friday, March 24, 2017

Friends involve reader in marriage problems
Thursday, March 23, 2017

Reader needs tips to stop procrastinating
Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Daughter using emergency credit card for fun
Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Woman's masculine style greeted with derision
Monday, March 20, 2017

Gift of books should come from the heart
Saturday, March 18, 2017

Reader makes up mind about makeup
Friday, March 17, 2017

Going to concert isn't a political statement
Thursday, March 16, 2017

Friend's social media obsession out of hand
Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Politics gets in the way of friendship
Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Friend's use of slur shocks reader
Monday, March 13, 2017

Reporting animal abuse is always correct
DEAR HARRIETTE: I live near a farm and find the state that those animals are in despicable. This is a petting zoo that gives tours to families, and the animals are kept in cramped cages and can barely move. I think this is animal abuse and believe this farm should be shut down. Should I call the police to report this neighborhood farm? I don't think children should be taught about nature like this. -- Animal Abuse, Norfolk, Virginia 
Saturday, March 11, 2017

Juggling two beaus is a bad idea
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am caught in a love triangle. I'm 22 and feel completely unsure of what to do. "Luke" is a sweet guy, and we've been friends for years, while "Chris" is a jock who has just started showing me attention. I feel horrible for juggling two guys, but only because it would hurt Luke if he found out. I know I will eventually have to choose one, but am completely torn on where to focus my energy. Should I pick the reliable choice or the daring bad boy? -- Too Much Love, Cincinnati 
Friday, March 10, 2017

Wife's secret bankroll troubles reader
DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife has recently purchased a car for herself. I had no idea she even had the funds to do something like this. She gave her old car to our daughter to take to college and refuses to answer any of my questions about her personal finances. 
Thursday, March 9, 2017

Food for restricted diet disappears too quickly
Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Neighbors obsess over sprinkler systems
Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Friend wants to bleach that man right outta her hair
Monday, March 6, 2017

Reader isn't ready for wedding bells
Saturday, March 4, 2017

Husband interjects in fight between friends
Friday, March 3, 2017

Sharing memories can shift focus from hardship
Thursday, March 2, 2017

Fake accent is hurtful, not cute
Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Bride wants to avoid drunken mayhem at reception
Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Teacher feels useless without glasses
Monday, February 27, 2017

Scorned reader shouldn't sabotage former date
DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a few dates with someone, but he never responded to my messages. You can imagine my shock when I saw him interviewing for a position at my company. I was asked my opinion on him, and I gave him a negative review because of how he treated me. Upon reflection, I possibly sabotaged him because of a situation outside of work. Should I change my tune on him, considering he is truly qualified for the job? I wouldn't want karma to come back around and bite me like it could him. -- Mincing Words, Boston 
Friday, February 24, 2017

Reader questions fashion decisions at work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I try to stay up-to-date on the newest fashion and beauty trends. I have tried extending my look into the workplace, a local coffee shop, and have gotten compliments from customers. My boss, who is old enough to be my father, constantly gives me an eye roll whenever I come in with a new piercing or hair color. I wear my uniform and maintain a well-kempt appearance. Should I tone down my style just because my boss doesn't like how I present myself? I cannot lose this job. -- Beauty vs. Bills, Syracuse, New York 
Friday, February 24, 2017

Topical pain relievers can be quite effective
Thursday, February 23, 2017

Reader makes changes to age-old recipes
Thursday, February 23, 2017

Reader doesn't know what to do with ex's present
Wednesday, February 22, 2017

After election, reader is ready to get involved
Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Friend ignores reader for months at a time
Monday, February 20, 2017

Teenager needs to learn definition of "emergency"
Saturday, February 18, 2017

Sorority taking too much of reader's time
Friday, February 17, 2017

Reader wants to starting asking for help
Thursday, February 16, 2017

Twins insist on wearing full face of makeup
Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Neighbors' escalating fights worry reader
Tuesday, February 14, 2017

World Almanac
Today is the 44th day of 2017 and the 55th day of winter. 
Monday, February 13, 2017

Boyfriend's tantrums cost more than money
Monday, February 13, 2017

Aunt wants to give niece unsolicited skin tips
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very invested in skin care, and am currently curating the perfect anti-aging routine. I have noticed that my teenage niece, "Shannon," has cystic acne. She covers it up with makeup and constantly touches her face and picks at it. I was a teenager once, and I battled acne into my 20s. Could I give her my unsolicited advice? I know simple fixes that could do wonders for her skin, but I don't want to be seen as the nosy aunt. -- Clear Skin Awaits, Tupelo, Mississippi 
Saturday, February 11, 2017

Volunteering for charity should not require money
Thursday, February 9, 2017

Reader doesn't need to break the bank on fashion
Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Reader ready to snap out of rut
Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Teen daughter's drinking worries reader
Monday, February 6, 2017

Reader ready to move out of parents' house
Saturday, February 4, 2017

Reader unsure how to respond to mean girl
Friday, February 3, 2017

Reader disturbed seeing deceased on social media
Thursday, February 2, 2017

Roommate makes decision without consulting reader
Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Reader does not want to provide nutrition advice
Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Reader should feel free to challenge elder
Monday, January 30, 2017

Reader shaken up by accident in mom's car
 DEAR HARRIETTE: While driving my mother's car to pick up my sister from the train station, I slid on black ice and hit the car in front of me. There was no way to avoid the incident, and I was shaken up. The other car was not damaged. When I came home, my mother did not ask if I was OK. She just cried about how she's going to get to work while the bumper gets repaired. This bothered me because she could've gone to pick up my sister and experienced the same situation. Insurance is covering the cost of repair. Should I offer to pay the deductible? -- Crashing, Roanoke, Virginia
Saturday, January 28, 2017

Mother changes personality in new marriage
Friday, January 27, 2017

Allergic baby sitter needs medication
Thursday, January 26, 2017

Keep kids cell-free while on the road
Wednesday, January 25, 2017

British co-worker's humor goes too far
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers is from the U.K. "Grant" is well-liked, but he can occasionally go too far with his jokes. Whenever others bristle at his humor, Grant huffs and claims that American humor is just not as developed as his British humor. While this may be true and open to interpretation, there is no denying he offends whoever ends up as the butt of the joke. Should there be more pressure on Grant to apologize, or does he get a pass because we apparently can't understand his sense of humor? -- Cross-Atlantic Comedy, Raleigh, North Carolina
Tuesday, January 24, 2017










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