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home : columns : dear harriette February 19, 2017

Teenager needs to learn definition of "emergency"

Saturday, February 18, 2017


Anderson Jewelers

Sorority taking too much of reader's time
Friday, February 17, 2017

Reader wants to starting asking for help
Thursday, February 16, 2017

Twins insist on wearing full face of makeup
Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Neighbors' escalating fights worry reader
Tuesday, February 14, 2017

World Almanac
Today is the 44th day of 2017 and the 55th day of winter. 
Monday, February 13, 2017

Boyfriend's tantrums cost more than money
Monday, February 13, 2017

Aunt wants to give niece unsolicited skin tips
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very invested in skin care, and am currently curating the perfect anti-aging routine. I have noticed that my teenage niece, "Shannon," has cystic acne. She covers it up with makeup and constantly touches her face and picks at it. I was a teenager once, and I battled acne into my 20s. Could I give her my unsolicited advice? I know simple fixes that could do wonders for her skin, but I don't want to be seen as the nosy aunt. -- Clear Skin Awaits, Tupelo, Mississippi 
Saturday, February 11, 2017

Volunteering for charity should not require money
Thursday, February 9, 2017

Reader doesn't need to break the bank on fashion
Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Reader ready to snap out of rut
Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Teen daughter's drinking worries reader
Monday, February 6, 2017

Reader ready to move out of parents' house
Saturday, February 4, 2017

Reader unsure how to respond to mean girl
Friday, February 3, 2017

Reader disturbed seeing deceased on social media
Thursday, February 2, 2017

Roommate makes decision without consulting reader
Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Reader does not want to provide nutrition advice
Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Reader should feel free to challenge elder
Monday, January 30, 2017

Reader shaken up by accident in mom's car
 DEAR HARRIETTE: While driving my mother's car to pick up my sister from the train station, I slid on black ice and hit the car in front of me. There was no way to avoid the incident, and I was shaken up. The other car was not damaged. When I came home, my mother did not ask if I was OK. She just cried about how she's going to get to work while the bumper gets repaired. This bothered me because she could've gone to pick up my sister and experienced the same situation. Insurance is covering the cost of repair. Should I offer to pay the deductible? -- Crashing, Roanoke, Virginia
Saturday, January 28, 2017

Mother changes personality in new marriage
Friday, January 27, 2017

Allergic baby sitter needs medication
Thursday, January 26, 2017

Keep kids cell-free while on the road
Wednesday, January 25, 2017

British co-worker's humor goes too far
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers is from the U.K. "Grant" is well-liked, but he can occasionally go too far with his jokes. Whenever others bristle at his humor, Grant huffs and claims that American humor is just not as developed as his British humor. While this may be true and open to interpretation, there is no denying he offends whoever ends up as the butt of the joke. Should there be more pressure on Grant to apologize, or does he get a pass because we apparently can't understand his sense of humor? -- Cross-Atlantic Comedy, Raleigh, North Carolina
Tuesday, January 24, 2017

New friend's accent raises questions
DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman was introduced to my circle at our club. She seemed great and spoke about how her worldview had changed since marrying a Spaniard. I asked where she was from, and she told me she was born and raised in Connecticut. I nearly laughed out loud -- she speaks with a fake Spanish accent!
Monday, January 23, 2017

Reader doesn't know what to do about smelly shoes
Saturday, January 21, 2017

Reader wants to pursue restaurant dream
Friday, January 20, 2017

Neighbor ignores cat-sitting duties
Thursday, January 19, 2017

Friends drop the ball on new year's eve party
Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Stepfather wants more information
Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Stepdaughter must clean up her own mess
Monday, January 16, 2017

Reader doesn't want unexpected present
DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate being surprised with presents. This Christmas, I received a pair of goggles (I ski) that I hate. They are bright pink and offer no UV protection. The gift didn't come with a gift receipt, just the spoken wish that I would wear them. What do I do with these goggles now? I would feel so wasteful throwing them out, but I do not need another pair, especially ones that don't protect my eyes and skin. -- Unhappy Skier, Westchester, New York
Saturday, January 14, 2017

Reader's office holiday party gets out of hand
Friday, January 13, 2017

Reader grumbles about rumbling stomach
Thursday, January 12, 2017

Reader questions what to do with presents
Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Reader overwhelmed by birthday outpouring
Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Dresser comes with strings attached
Monday, January 9, 2017

Sister's past influences reader's future
Saturday, January 7, 2017

Reader embarrassed by sweaty palms
Friday, January 6, 2017

Go ahead and tell acquaintance about food in teeth
Thursday, January 5, 2017

Fledgling musician son annoys family
Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Reader doesn't want to engage trolling friend
DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone who runs in a similar social circle as me is a nuisance on social media. He is a self-proclaimed "troll," and he adds inappropriate or lewd comments on posts. I blocked and unblocked him (so it seems like he never followed me in the first place), but he has privately messaged me, asking why I won't let him follow me. How can I tell him that he makes people uncomfortable on social media? He genuinely thinks he's hilarious. -- Not My Follower, Philadelphia
Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Harriette suggests planning for success in 2017
Monday, January 2, 2017

Reader tired of Christmas gifts
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high-maintenance person to buy gifts for. I am incredibly picky. Because of this, every year I ask for no presents for Christmas because I know I probably won't like them. Instead, I tell my family to buy another gift for their children or spouse. I am well-off and fortunate enough to buy myself the necessities. I tell the Christmas host, my sister, about my no-gift policy because she constantly goes overboard and then complains about being broke after the holidays. I never draw attention to the fact that I open one gift and always bring a gift for everyone else -- year after year. How can I finally make it clear to my sister to stop wasting her money on gifts I will never use? I'm already trying to plan for next year. -- It's Been Years, Wilmington, Delaware
Friday, December 30, 2016

Go ahead and plan your own birthday party
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love to plan my birthday celebrations. I feel like it is the one day a year I can completely make about me. This year, my girlfriend of almost a year was shocked to learn that I have been planning my own birthdays for all my adult life.
Thursday, December 29, 2016

Friends don't attend reader's performances
Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Reader ready to give up smoking for good
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to kick my casual smoking habit. I never thought I would become a smoker -- I know how horrendous it is for the body. However, when I am outside the bar getting some fresh air and get offered a cigarette, I get excited and can't say no. I have tried refusing, but this typically falls on deaf ears. I want to kick this habit for good. What can I say to those who harmlessly offer me a cigarette? -- Deathly Habit, Cincinnati
Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Reader getting flak for calling off wedding
DEAR HARRIETTE: I called off my wedding with my fiance. I didn't tell anyone that he cheated on me for years because I want my family to still respect the father of my child. What I didn't expect was the backlash onto me. I was trying to help my daughter and myself but now my family thinks I've ruined my ex's life by calling off the wedding. I did what is best for my child and me, but I don't think my family will see this unless I tell them the truth. Is it wise to reveal this secret? -- All His Fault, Sag Harbor, New York
Monday, December 26, 2016

Reader getting flak for calling off wedding
Friday, December 23, 2016

Reader bristles at questions about hair
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have fairly unruly hair, and I don't like to style it. I like how it looks when it's left natural. I have gotten comments about how it's not "professional," or I've been asked why I didn't put my hair into a more appropriate hairstyle. Is hair really that important? I don't want to fry my hair just to look sleek and stylish. -- Hair-Do, Indianapolis
Thursday, December 22, 2016

Reader hates responding to random emails
Wednesday, December 21, 2016

As manager, reader must mediate for employees
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a restaurant to pay the bills. I have been promoted to manager and was happy about the paycheck, but I now have to be on the frontline of a waitress who fights with the chef all the time. I believe there was some relationship between them and they are now at each other's throats. How can I step into this fighting? They are both hotheads but provide great service at the restaurant. -- Manager's Orders, Dallas
Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Son steals to buy himself christmas present
Monday, December 19, 2016

Former business owner wants to offer advice to friend
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend owns a knickknack shop on our town's Main Street. Business has been getting slower and slower for her, and she told me she is shocked she is going under right before the holiday season.
Saturday, December 17, 2016

Teen daughter requests IUD
Friday, December 16, 2016

Student needs to lower standards for part-time job
Thursday, December 15, 2016

Reader can host party to meet neighbors
Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Reader can host party to meet neighbors
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to a new neighborhood. I had very close ties with my neighbors before moving, so I am a little surprised that my new neighbors are not as friendly. In this new neighborhood, the houses are farther apart, and some even have gated driveways. This is not what I was used to before relocating. 
Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Mom must close door on daughter's privacy
DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter has started keeping her door closed when her friends are over. They have just started high school. They used to include me in their gossip, but now it appears that I am not welcome to join or even overhear. I want to make sure my daughter isn't growing up too quickly while letting her keep her privacy. My husband thinks nothing good can happen behind closed doors, but I argue that they're only 14 and can't be getting into too much trouble. -- Door Open or Closed, Raleigh, North Carolina
Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Reader frets about buying gift for stranger
Monday, December 12, 2016

Friends judge mom for letting kids have freedom
Saturday, December 10, 2016

Overweight teen daughter won't accept help
Friday, December 9, 2016

Reader bothered by photo shoot request
Thursday, December 8, 2016

Midwife's schedule can't wait for holidays
Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Midwife's schedule can't wait for holidays
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a midwife who is frequently on call. Just this Thanksgiving, I could be only 20 minutes away from my client. I know this comes with the territory, so I went to my neighbor's house to celebrate the holiday.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Friend didn't tell reader about mom's death
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned a friend's mom passed away. I realized my friend and I met up the day after she got the news (this information is coming late from someone who knew the whole time).
Saturday, December 3, 2016

Reader with celiac disease questions thanksgiving meal
Friday, December 2, 2016

Friend's spa prices drive away business
Thursday, December 1, 2016

Reader questions etiquette of sending flowers
Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Friends jeer at reader's birthday plans
DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate my birthday. I try to make it a fun event every year, but it ends in either tears or injury for me. This year, I've decided to not celebrate my birthday and spend it alone. I was planning on getting takeout from my favorite restaurant and spending the day with my dog. 
Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Reader reticent about receiving retirement
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working as a freelance writer for most of my life. I have been able to make a decent living for myself, but I don't have much extra. I had a heart attack a few years ago and have had various other health concerns. As a result, I had to figure out how to get proper health insurance and other support. 
Monday, November 28, 2016

Dad wants daughter to feel good about hair
Saturday, November 26, 2016

Husband must sink teeth into denture responsibility
Friday, November 25, 2016

Mother and husband's bonding bugs reader
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and my mother love to spend time together. They have been spending more time together as of this year and, honestly, it freaks me out. They have gone to fitness classes, lunches and festivals together. My father and I work long hours, so I am happy they have each other to spend time with, but I don't understand why they have bonded so much in this recent year. 
Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Friend must move on after election results
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently reconnected with my college boyfriend because he was working on the campaign of Hillary Clinton. He was very excited about his job and eager to start building his career once the election was over. He, and many others, seemed certain that his candidate would win, and that it would be historic. We talked for months about all of the work that he felt was being done, especially by him, to try to support the candidate. It seemed great for him. 
Tuesday, November 22, 2016









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