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home : columns : dear harriette May 24, 2016

Friends don't approve of reader's boyfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: None of my friends likes my boyfriend, but I am head over heels for him. They just don't understand that he's different when we're alone as opposed to when people are observing our relationship.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Anderson Jewelers

Reader needs to renegotiate contract with friend
Monday, May 23, 2016

Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole
DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer I hooked up with my good friend who had recently broken up with her boyfriend. She was vulnerable and upset, and I was too nervous to reject her. I am gay, but I haven't told anyone yet, so it's weird. 
Saturday, May 21, 2016

Reader annoyed when friend shares too much
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is a very open woman. She likes to talk about every aspect of her life and doesn't think to notice who else is listening. At a cocktail party recently, she was talking about how she uses Nair on her husband's back because they agreed he is too hairy. She then went on to say how great their bedroom life is. My other friend and I were shocked. Usually, we can just laugh about how "Carol" overshares, but I thought this was way too personal. I do not want to hear it. 
Thursday, May 19, 2016

Reader concerned for newly out friend
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends recently came out of the closet at 25. I was so happy for him as he began exploring the gay scene in our city, but my joy has slowly turned into concern. He has entered a promiscuous phase, and I am concerned, not just because of sexually transmitted infections, but also because our local scene, especially as people of color, is not so big. 
Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Reader is lukewarm about temperature debate
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a hostess at a restaurant. I am 25. I work very close to a 50-and-over community that does not allow children. Many of the women complain to me about the temperature in the restaurant. Occasionally, they will admit that they are going through menopause, and other times they will skirt around the topic. I receive many complaints about the heat of the restaurant.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Friend's racist tirade upsets reader
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a white best friend growing up in our small town. We were close throughout high school, but we lost contact during college. After 15 years apart, we recently reconnected through Facebook. It was like old times again. That is, until about a month ago. He recently posted a meme that pointed out the differences in how police handle black suspects versus white suspects, accompanied by a horribly racist tirade. 
Monday, May 16, 2016

Reader wants friend to keep divorce advice to herself
Saturday, May 14, 2016

Widower wants son to meet his girlfriend
Friday, May 13, 2016

Reader baffled by friend's sudden reversal
Thursday, May 12, 2016

Dad thinks daughter's car smells like trouble
Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Reader feels he has lost touch with grandson
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a grandfather to two lovely children. My grandson is 14 years old now. As recently as two years ago, we would go to the zoo or the carnival together. Now, it seems as though my grandson is too "cool" for me. I keep attempting to reach out to him, but now I just hear crickets. I don't want to stop his youthful fun. I just want to be involved in his life.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Mom worries about toddler's development
Monday, May 9, 2016

Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am finding myself going crazy. I accepted a new management role within my company about four months ago, and while I should be happy, I cannot be any more stressed. I'm rushing, so I'm not eating well. I haven't been sleeping right, and gym time has been nonexistent. I'm meeting my deadlines and executing my work well, but I know this is not going to be a sustainable strategy.  How can I get some order back in my life so I can regain my sanity and my health? -- Not Trying to Die at 40, Philadelphia
Saturday, May 7, 2016

Reader needs to defend daughter from judgment
Friday, May 6, 2016

Reader upset that mom is acting like a teenager
Thursday, May 5, 2016

Reader worried about friends' pill use
Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is eight years younger than me. We've been married for 10 years now, and our age difference has never been an issue. 
Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been together for six years. I love him with all my heart and would do almost anything for him. I say "almost" because his recent request isn't an easy one. Normally, if he asks me to do something, I'm there; I'll do it without hesitation. It's always been that way in our relationship because we love and trust each other. I overlooked our age difference -- he's 38, and I'm 24 -- because I never thought that it would come between us. 
Monday, May 2, 2016

Body makeup rubs reader the wrong way
Saturday, April 30, 2016

Former bookworm son trying to gain popularity
Friday, April 29, 2016

Reader shocked by parents' marijuana stash
Thursday, April 28, 2016

One-on-one meetings give reader anxiety
Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't know if I'm going in the right direction. I hate my job, but it pays the bills. It also allows me to live comfortably. I want a job that I love that allows me to live this way. 
Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Reader dumbs herself down to find dates
Monday, April 25, 2016

Toddler's trip scares mother
DEAR HARRIETTE: I received the scare of my life yesterday when my 3-year-old opened our front door by himself and walked outside. I was moving laundry from the washer to the dryer downstairs, and when I came back up, he was gone.
Saturday, April 23, 2016

Friend's photos cause questions
Friday, April 22, 2016

Husband plans trip without consulting reader
Thursday, April 21, 2016

Fraudulent charges could come from kids
Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Reader retracts from friends to work on self

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a recent college graduate who has a lot on her plate. I feel completely flummoxed, and I am just trying to get stability. I constantly worry about my rent, job, savings, bills and health. This leaves me no time for my friends. I love my support group, but I have had a very rough year. My friends think I hate them because I haven't spent any time with them. I feel horrible, but I need to focus on myself so I don't sink.  


Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Reader used to money, not relationships
DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad was never in my life. He just wrote a check here and there, giving it to my mom. There was no real emotional connection. Money was my dad. Money was always there. Money paid for any expenses I needed for my well-being. A week ago, my dad calls me to say that he wants to "see what his return is on his investment." That comment offended me. How dare he think that his money made me? How could he ever be a real father? He didn't raise me; the money did. I'm still trying to decipher if that's a good or bad thing. 
Monday, April 18, 2016

Teacher throws away students' work
Saturday, April 16, 2016

Daughters' thigh gap concerns upset reader
Friday, April 15, 2016

Reader nervous to disclose sexual history
Thursday, April 14, 2016

Reader panicking at the thought of getting married
Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Son's dream to join Navy scares reader
Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Reader gets drunk and confides in charter guest
Monday, April 11, 2016

Dear Harriette by Harriette Cole
DEAR HARRIETTE: As spring is here in full force, my wife has decided that this is the year that we get rid of clutter. In the past, the whole family has made a halfhearted promise to throw out what we truly do not need just to appease my wife.
Saturday, April 9, 2016

Sister's puppy leads to hurt feelings
Friday, April 8, 2016

College student's mom worries about hazing
Thursday, April 7, 2016

Couple cannot agree on adoption
Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Reader feels powerless in her marriage
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for four years now. I've been stressing a lot, and my therapist told me to stop and analyze my life.
Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Mother needs son to learn responsibility
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is my pride and joy. He's my only child, so that makes it even stronger. Unfortunately, even though it wasn't my intention, I feel as though I've officially spoiled him rotten.
Monday, April 4, 2016

Reader should let son enjoy overnight trip
Saturday, April 2, 2016

Reader uneasy with girlfriend's disclosure
Friday, April 1, 2016

Remove any hazards to prevent falling at home
Thursday, March 31, 2016

Restaurant is not wheelchair accessible
Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Reader wants to impress in-laws with golf cart
DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife's parents have never really liked me. They think I'm too loud, too competitive and too commanding in terms of deciding plans. Honestly, these traits aren't things I dislike about myself in the slightest. I like being the leader of excursions and deciding how events will go.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Co-worker's pranks irritate reader
Monday, March 28, 2016

Readers wants to skip family reunion due to family issues
DEAR HARRIETTE: My family dynamic has always been messed up. I don't get along with my brother or my parents, because my parents clearly favor him over me due to the fact that I had a child right out of high school. It does not matter to them that I am a productive member of society who pays her own bills, has her master's degree and does not live at home; they will not stop holding my teenage indiscretion against me. 
Saturday, March 26, 2016

Reader needs mentor to help in career
Friday, March 25, 2016

Reader not sure about sharing painful past
Thursday, March 24, 2016

Mom's boundary issues bug reader
Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Harriette reflects on charitable trip
DEAR READERS: I just got back from an eye-opening humanitarian trip to India. I went on behalf of a philanthropic organization, The PRASAD Project (, for which I serve on the board. What I witnessed changed my perspective on life.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Reader wondering if it's time to settle
DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past three years, I've dated four guys. Each time, it was fairly casual -- or that's how it seemed to me. However, a few of them were ready to commit to being in a relationship. 
Monday, March 21, 2016

Son questions identity at new school
Saturday, March 19, 2016

Reader crushed by mother's feelings about teaching
Friday, March 18, 2016

Reader finds solution for forgetting names
Thursday, March 17, 2016

Brother's estranged wife wants to attend his funeral
Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Summer camp drives wedge into family
DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are 4 and 6 years old. They are young now, so they go to day camp over the summer. However, I was thinking recently that in a few years, different arrangements for their summers will have to be made. I went to sleepaway camp for years and had the best summers of my life in the hills of Pennsylvania. My husband never went to camp other than brief day camps. He played sports or went on family vacations during his summers growing up. 
Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Reader needs dating advice
Monday, March 14, 2016

Upset by dad's stance on same-sex marriage
DEAR HARRIETTE: My father is in the local government and is interviewed for small newspapers frequently. Recently, when asked about his views regarding same-sex marriage, I was shocked to read that he was against it! 
Friday, March 11, 2016

Racist co-worker surprises reader
Friday, March 11, 2016

Reader wants to tattle on co-workers
Thursday, March 10, 2016

Student wonders if she's grown up too quickly
Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Reader worried about sister's weight gain
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I decided to get healthy together a little over a year ago. We were both at least 30 pounds overweight, and in those 12 months we lost weight and completely changed our lifestyles. As the year was ending, my sister decided to go back to her old lifestyle because it's just "easier." We did agree to be healthy for a year, so she kept her promise, but I want her to continue doing this with me.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Reader unwilling to give up hatred for woman
DEAR HARRIETTE: Honestly, I've been holding a grudge against a woman in my town, Cindy, for over a decade. I never forgive, and I think that there's no point in me ever needing to interact with this woman after what she has said about my family and me.
Monday, March 7, 2016

Reader wants to take solo vacation
Saturday, March 5, 2016

Wife's request for therapy angers reader
Friday, March 4, 2016

Pregnant reader finds incriminating texts
Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Reader can't handle friend's mood swings
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is extremely bipolar. He admits he has some mental issues and says he is on medication, but I think he needs more. He'll have wild mood swings, and I honestly cannot keep up. 
Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Reader's foul language draws criticism
Monday, February 29, 2016

Reader's work trips cause wife distress
DEAR HARRIETTE: My work causes me to take four business trips throughout the year. Other co-workers have much more frequent, and shorter, trips to New York, Miami and Dallas. I consider myself lucky that I only have to travel quarterly and for a few days at a time. I have been at this job for just over a year now, and every time I have gone away, I Skype with my wife. I am typically away for four to five days, and each time I've gone away, my wife has broken down. 
Saturday, February 27, 2016

Reader's charge curses with abandon
Friday, February 26, 2016

Reader feels bad denying friend's burial request
Thursday, February 25, 2016

Trinity Dodge Fixed

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