Breeze-Courier | Taylorville, IL
weather sponsored by

The Weather Network
Advanced Search
search sponsored by


home : columns : dear harriette May 24, 2019

3/4/2019 8:10:00 AM
Visiting boyfriend's family requires planning

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend has invited me to go to visit his family in another country. It sounds like a great trip, but I have a problem: I do not have a passport. I have never been out of the country, and I'm worried about traveling to Mexico at this time. There's so much talk about the border and how dangerous it is to cross, I am worried about traveling there and about whether my boyfriend will be safe coming back. He has a green card, but everything is so volatile right now, it makes me nervous. What should I do? -- No Passport

DEAR NO PASSPORT: First of all, it is smart for you to have a passport that you keep up to date. In this way, you can freely move anywhere in the world if you so desire.

Beyond that, be careful not to make assumptions about visiting your boyfriend's family based on watching the news. Mexico is a huge country. Where does your boyfriend's family live? Find out what the politics are where they are located. Many parts of Mexico are safe. Some are even thriving tourist areas. Do your research, which should include talking to your boyfriend about what he expects the trip will entail. Find out how often your boyfriend travels back and forth to see his family. You have to be careful not to buy into stereotypes. If your boyfriend is legitimately able to travel to and from the United States, his travel should be easeful. Find out as much as you can about this journey before you make a decision. Do not allow the inflammatory discourse of politics to derail your plans.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband likes to smoke marijuana. He has been smoking since before we met. I got him to agree to smoke outside and reinforced it after our son was born. He was disciplined about it for a while, but recently he has gotten sloppy. He smokes in the house sometimes. This really bothers me, as our son is a teenager, and this is the worst time for his father to be smoking weed. I do not want our son to pick up this habit. Regardless of what happens with legalization, I do not think it is a good idea for our boy to get into smoking weed now. He is a good student, and I want to keep him focused. How can I get my husband to work with me? -- No Weed Inside

DEAR NO WEED INSIDE: You have to sit down with your husband and have a heart-to-heart chat about the future and his role in helping to guide your son's steps. Restate your opinion about your son and smoking weed. Be crystal clear about why you do not want your son to smoke. Let your husband know that you need his help in enforcing the rules that you believe will help your son to be successful in life. Tell him that you know you cannot control his choices, but implore him to stop smoking inside and stop being an example of what you consider to be reckless behavior. You both need to recognize that whatever you do, your son will interpret as what he should do. Talk about that and reconsider your actions through that lens.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Article Comment Submission Form
Please feel free to submit your comments.

If you are looking for the SPEAK OUT submission form, you can find it by clicking here: Speak Out Form

Article comments are not posted immediately to the Web site. Each submission must be approved by the Web site editor, who may edit content for appropriateness. There may be a delay of 24-48 hours for any submission while the web site editor reviews and approves it.

NOTE: All information on this form is required. Your telephone number and email address will not be displayed or shared.
Submit an Article Comment
First Name:
Last Name:
Anti-SPAM Passcode Click here to see a new mix of characters.
This is an anti-SPAM device. It is not case sensitive.

Trinity Dodge Fixed
Dr Paul The Dentist
NewsWebPagesOpinionPeopleObituariesAg & BusinessSportsContact UsLife
Subscriptions | Username & Password Reminder | Change Password | Life

Breeze-Courier & Printing | 212 S Main St. Taylorville, IL 62568 | (217) 824-2233 |

© Copyright 2014 Breeze-Courier & Printing. All Rights Reserved.
Original content may not be reprinted or distributed without the written permission of Breeze-Courier & Printing.

Software © 1998-2019 1up! Software, All Rights Reserved