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home : columns : dear harriette September 17, 2019

6/25/2019 7:42:00 AM
Reader wonders about meeting "the one"

DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you believe in love at first sight? Or even unspoken love? I'm currently in my third year of college and have noticed a certain guy around campus since I was a freshman. I can tell that he is attracted to me as well. When we first locked eyes, it's as if we recognized each other from somewhere. However, we have never actually said a word to each other.

He's on the baseball team, and his jersey number is 21. Now everywhere I go, I see that number pop up, whether it's part of the time on the clock, the number on the bus, commercials, social media, etc. ... You name it, I see it!

My friends think I'm delusional, but I feel as though he could be someone special. What are your thoughts on this situation? How do you know who The One is? -- The One

DEAR THE ONE: Stop doubting the messages that are coming to you and take action. You don't need to consult your friends. You already know that you find this man interesting. Now it's time to drum up the courage to speak to him.

You believe that he has noticed you. Perhaps you both are shy. Take a leap and go for it. Go up to him and say hello. Tell him that you have noticed him since you started at your university, and you would love to have a chance to talk. Invite him for coffee or some other quiet social interaction. What's the worst that could happen? He could say no. That wouldn't be so bad. The upside, though, is that he will likely say yes, and then you will both get a chance to see if the chemistry grows when you are face-to-face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have teenage cousins who want to be "famous." We all probably had that desire at one point in our lives, but as I grow older, I realize that most famous people aren't truly happy because they have to sacrifice a lot to gain notoriety. My cousins are thinking about the money and the popularity aspect of fame, but there is more to life than that. How can I show my cousins the downside of fame so they don't waste time chasing a dream they don't need? -- The Cost of Fame

DEAR THE COST OF FAME: Your cousins are growing up at a time when fame seems to be at their fingertips, thanks to social media. While it isn't really true, it appears that anybody can build a persona and cultivate a following that will bring them recognition and wealth. In reality, most people do not reach that level.

Ask your cousins to think about what they want their lives to represent. Ask them about their interests and abilities. Encourage them to think about what they want people to think about them and what they stand for. If they can tap into their interests, that's what they should be developing. They can get their core message to a larger audience through social media, but let them know that it takes a lot of time and hard work.

Remind your cousins that fame comes with a loss of privacy. People with thousands or even millions of followers may not be able to go to the grocery store without being spotted, or have a relationship go sideways without the world talking about it. Balancing a bit of "fame" with a lot of privacy ultimately is a healthier goal.

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