Landmark Skybox

Breeze-Courier | Taylorville, IL
The Weather Network
Advanced Search
search sponsored by


home : columns : dear harriette November 20, 2019

9/26/2019 7:47:00 AM
Girlfriend and her brother have vicious fights

DEAR HARRIETTE: I seem to have become the go-between when my girlfriend and her brother get into arguments. I am an only child, so I am unaccustomed to seeing family members go at each other so viciously. They are quick to argue and can be downright mean when they are talking to -- or yelling at -- each other.

When I'm around, I can help them see that their points of view aren't necessarily that different. But their intensity scares me. Should I continue to help them or just step away? I'm worried that they will end up hating each other if they can't figure out another way to communicate. -- Like Cats and Dogs

DEAR LIKE CATS AND DOGS: Check in with your girlfriend to find out if she values your interventions. It could be that she appreciates your perspective and that it helps her and her brother to look at whatever they are discussing from a different viewpoint. What you want to avoid, though, is having to be present at every interaction.

Tell your girlfriend about your worries for her and her brother. Encourage her to approach him in a more loving, respectful way. One thing that adult children need to do is to look at their lives with fresh eyes. Whatever their triggers were as children do not have to remain triggers. They can look at their lives and recognize that they have the power to interact with each other using tools that they likely have developed over time and use with other people.

DEAR HARRIETTE I work freelance, and in recent years, I have not gotten as much work as I had in the past. I have also not been the best at keeping in touch with my clients. I was so busy working that I typically have not sent them notes or otherwise kept them engaged. Do you think it's a good idea to send out a mailer or start making calls to let some of my former clients know that I'm still working? I don't want to be pushy, but I do need to do something. -- How to Re-engage

DEAR HOW TO RE-ENGAGE: Definitely reach out to your former clients to let them know that you are still around, and point out the services that you offer now. You might consider offering them a discount if they decide to work with you again. Put a time limit on the discount to help jumpstart engagement with any clients who may need your services.

In the future, stay in touch with clients. Consider creating an online newsletter or blog that updates people in your database about what you are doing. Periodically offering discount coupons to all of your clients is another way to keep them in your orbit.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Article Comment Submission Form
Please feel free to submit your comments.

If you are looking for the SPEAK OUT submission form, you can find it by clicking here: Speak Out Form

Article comments are not posted immediately to the Web site. Each submission must be approved by the Web site editor, who may edit content for appropriateness. There may be a delay of 24-48 hours for any submission while the web site editor reviews and approves it.

NOTE: All information on this form is required. Your telephone number and email address will not be displayed or shared.
Submit an Article Comment
First Name:
Last Name:
Anti-SPAM Passcode Click here to see a new mix of characters.
This is an anti-SPAM device. It is not case sensitive.

Trinity Dodge Fixed
Dr Paul The Dentist
NewsWebPagesOpinionPeopleObituariesAg & BusinessSportsContact UsLife
Subscriptions | Username & Password Reminder | Change Password | Life

Breeze-Courier & Printing | 212 S Main St. Taylorville, IL 62568 | (217) 824-2233 |

© Copyright 2014 Breeze-Courier & Printing. All Rights Reserved.
Original content may not be reprinted or distributed without the written permission of Breeze-Courier & Printing.

Software © 1998-2019 1up! Software, All Rights Reserved