10/31/2019 7:26:00 AM Boss takes credit for employee's work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a project for six months, and at a companywide meeting, my boss took all the credit for the work that I have done. Yes, it was for our team, but he did nothing, and I did it all, yet he acted like he was the victor. I was so mad.
I'm not sure what to do. Complaining may make me seem petty, but I am so angry that he didn't give me or his team any credit for the hard work we have been doing to get to where we are now. Is there anything I can say that may open his eyes for the next time? He is usually a thoughtful boss, but overlooking me and the rest of the team for all of the work we did felt like a slap in the face. -- Overlooked
DEAR OVERLOOKED: If you can frame your concern so that it doesn't seem personal, you may be able to get the message across to your boss. For example, perhaps you can congratulate your boss on presenting successfully at the companywide meeting while adding that it might be good for him to say something to the team about how hard they worked on the project that he mentioned. Gently point out that while he talked about it, he did not acknowledge the people who worked to make it happen. In this way, you point out what is obvious to you without directly criticizing him.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin is getting married next fall, and she is very excited. She is in her mid-20s and is thrilled to have found her partner. They are just starting their lives together, and they cannot afford the wedding that they have planned. Every time we talk about it, my cousin asks if the family will chip in to help make her dream come true. I don't agree. I would rather give them money to help them build toward their future. She is mad that this is my opinion, but I feel strongly about it. How can I get my point across? It's nice to have a beautiful party, but much more important, in my view, to be set up to start a beautiful life. -- Affordable Wedding
DEAR AFFORDABLE WEDDING: Rather than getting too involved in the details of your cousin's wedding, you can stand your ground about how you will support her. In a private conversation, tell your cousin how much you love and support her. Make it clear that your way of gifting her for her union is by giving her money for her future. Tell her if she continues to push forward for a lavish wedding, she will need to get financial help from people other than you.
Make it clear that you are not abandoning her. Instead, you are showing your love in ways that make sense to you. At the same time, you can let her know that you do not intend to lobby other family members to join your position. You should be quiet and let her navigate her journey.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to email@example.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)