Landmark Skybox

Breeze-Courier | Taylorville, IL
The Weather Network
Advanced Search
search sponsored by


LOGIN | SUBSCRIBE






home : columns : dear harriette January 25, 2020

12/9/2019 8:15:00 AM
Daughter too self-involved to make time for nanny

DEAR HARRIETTE: When my daughter was a baby, we had a nanny who took care of her for many years. Time has passed so quickly; my daughter is about to go to college.

We recently heard from our former nanny, and she really wants to see my daughter before she goes away. The problem is that my daughter is so caught up in her friends and school that she is usually too busy to think about the elders in her life -- even though she loves her nanny a lot. How can I get her to slow down for a minute and make time to see this person who is important to her? -- Nanny Love

DEAR NANNY LOVE: Now is the time to put your foot down. Schedule a time when you invite your nanny over or organize a meal at a restaurant or some other mutually comfortable location. Let your daughter know that it is a requirement that she make time to visit with her former nanny. Don't set it up as a punishment; instead, encourage her to be excited by letting her know how special it is that her nanny wants to see her after so many years. In the end, though, make it clear that you expect your daughter to show up with a smile on her face to spend time with this trusted extended family member. If she refuses, take away some privileges until she is forced to wake up to who she is and what she values.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to the funeral of a friend's father. He was a prominent person in his hometown, and the funeral was very nice -- as those things go. My friend, however, was very upset.

When we were growing up, my friend used to say that her father was mean to her and her brother. Now that he has died, those old memories are bubbling up, and she is upset again.

At the family gathering after the funeral, we had to take her to another room when she started shouting about how mad she was at her dad. She has a right to her feelings, but the way she handled herself at the funeral was not good. I think she needs help in order to get past these bad memories. How can I get her to see this? -- Grieving Friend

DEAR GRIEVING FRIEND: Death stirs up all manner of emotions, and people do need to go through whatever surfaces. That doesn't mean that your friend should have gotten a pass for being rude at her father's funeral. It does mean that now would be the perfect time to get professional help to sort through what she's feeling.

As her friend, you can gently suggest that a grief counselor might be useful as she explores her emotions. Tell her that you wish you had the training and experience to help her properly, but you don't. Encourage her to engage a professional who can listen to her objectively and help her understand what her thoughts and feelings mean and how to process them.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.





Article Comment Submission Form
Please feel free to submit your comments.

If you are looking for the SPEAK OUT submission form, you can find it by clicking here: Speak Out Form


Article comments are not posted immediately to the Web site. Each submission must be approved by the Web site editor, who may edit content for appropriateness. There may be a delay of 24-48 hours for any submission while the web site editor reviews and approves it.

NOTE: All information on this form is required. Your telephone number and email address will not be displayed or shared.
Submit an Article Comment
First Name:
Required
Last Name:
Required
Telephone:
Required
Email:
Required
Comment:
Required
Passcode:
Required
Anti-SPAM Passcode Click here to see a new mix of characters.
This is an anti-SPAM device. It is not case sensitive.
   








Trinity Dodge Fixed
Dr Paul The Dentist
NewsWebPagesOpinionPeopleObituariesAg & BusinessSportsContact UsLife
Subscriptions | Username & Password Reminder | Change Password | Life

Breeze-Courier & Printing | 212 S Main St. Taylorville, IL 62568 | (217) 824-2233 |
website@breezecourier.com

© Copyright 2014 Breeze-Courier & Printing. All Rights Reserved.
Original content may not be reprinted or distributed without the written permission of Breeze-Courier & Printing.

Software © 1998-2020 1up! Software, All Rights Reserved