11/17/2020 8:04:00 AM Infidelity threatens happy marriage
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for 10 years, and we have three kids. We were high school sweethearts and each other's first loves and never dated other people before we were married. I would say we are happily married. My husband works late often and takes a lot of work trips.
Maybe I ignored all the signs, because he has been seeing someone else for the past year. He came to me and completely confessed and told me that he is in love with someone else. As you can imagine, I was a deer in headlights to hear this. He said that we rushed into this marriage, and he now wants time to discover life and other people. I was so stunned that I told him to leave and haven't spoken to or seen him in three days. I'm trying to gather myself to figure out what is next and where to go from here, but I just don't know. Any advice for women that have been cheated on? I am lost. -- Heartbroken
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: You and your husband need to talk. Schedule a time when you two can sit down and discuss the situation. Find out what he intends to do, and that includes how he plans to care for the family. Suggest that the two of you go to a marriage counselor. This can be helpful even if you decide to divorce. You will need to sort through finances, child care, property -- everything. And you will likely need emotional support that your husband cannot give you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my favorite restaurant last week, and while I was in the bathroom, I noticed a roach. I have never seen any insects there before, so I wasn't alarmed. I went again this week, and again I saw a roach. This time I noticed it walking up the wall next to where we were eating. When I notified the waiter, he apologized, saying it was because they had left the door open and sometimes they get inside. Anyone who knows anything can tell that that answer was just full of it.
I became very concerned at that point and asked to speak with a manager. He apologized and moved us to another table in the restaurant. I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is when someone finds an insect in a restaurant, but I feel like more should have been done. I want to contact the Department of Health, but I do not know if I am overreacting or not. Have you ever been in this situation before? -- Disgusted Customer
DEAR DISGUSTED CUSTOMER: Rather than going immediately to the Department of Health, circle back to the manager and express your genuine concern about the cleanliness of the restaurant. Point out that this is your favorite place to go out to eat. You know how tough it is during a pandemic to keep a restaurant open, but you also do not want to eat at a place that has a roach infestation. Ask him when they will be having an exterminator come in. Press him to take measures to prevent further incidents.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.