Landmark Skybox

Breeze-Courier | Taylorville, IL
Advanced Search
search sponsored by

The Weather Network

home : columns : dear harriette May 13, 2021

3/6/2021 3:10:00 PM
Dear Harriette

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-husband's new wife completely crossed the line with me the other day. She took my daughter to get her hair "trimmed" and brought her back with about 4 inches of her real, natural hair cut off. My daughter insists that she wanted her hair short, but as you can imagine, I was completely blindsided. I've had no issues with my ex-husband's wife up until this point. My daughter likes her, and she seems to be a nice woman. However, now I am completely furious that she thought she had the right to make such a bold decision on my daughter's behalf. My daughter is 6 years old and isn't allowed to make decisions like that without asking me. My ex-husband knows this. What should I do? -- Haircut

DEAR HAIRCUT: Go directly to your husband's new wife. Ask to speak to her, and express your concerns. Do your best to stay calm and clear. You want to maintain your power in this situation, and emotion will drain you of that.

Tell her how disappointed and upset you are that she had your daughter's hair cut without your permission. Point out that a haircut is a big deal in your eyes, and your ex knows that and knows that you would not appreciate this violation of your jurisdiction. Acknowledge that for the most part, you two have a positive rapport, and you know that your daughter and she get along. You would like for that to continue. For that to happen, she must honor your authority and check in with you before even mentioning major changes to your child.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My niece posts the most inappropriate pictures on social media. She is only 17 and posts revealing pictures of herself on Instagram, Twitter, etc. It attracts the WRONG type of attention. The main problem is that her own parents don't see an issue with it! I've asked her dad (my brother) several times if he's privy to the things she posts, and he said he doesn't think it's his business. I can respect giving her the right to make her own decisions, but this is dangerous. She could attract pedophiles. Her mother and I do not have the type of relationship where I would feel comfortable mentioning it to her, but I feel that something must be done. I want the best for my niece, and I fear she doesn't have anyone to tell her right from wrong. Should I just back off? Or should I say something to her myself and take matters into my own hands? -- Aunty Problems

DEAR AUNTY PROBLEMS: Your niece is at a vulnerable age that has only been exacerbated by the confines of COVID-19. Social media has become even more important as an outlet for teens. And teenagers at her age are often pushing the envelope in terms of exploring their identity and flirting with the unknown.

You are right to be concerned. The best thing you can do is to develop a closer relationship with your niece so that she trusts you and will listen -- at least sometimes. Do not chastise her. That will get you blocked from her social media accounts. Instead, talk to her about her life, her choices and how she spends her time. If you see something egregious, you might ask her about it -- but without judgment. Get her to talk about her posts and how people have responded. Then you can let her know that you are worried that she may be putting herself in a vulnerable position -- something she should think about.

Article Comment Submission Form
Please feel free to submit your comments.

If you are looking for the SPEAK OUT submission form, you can find it by clicking here: Speak Out Form

Article comments are not posted immediately to the Web site. Each submission must be approved by the Web site editor, who may edit content for appropriateness. There may be a delay of 24-48 hours for any submission while the web site editor reviews and approves it.

NOTE: All information on this form is required. Your telephone number and email address will not be displayed or shared.
Submit an Article Comment
First Name:
Last Name:
Anti-SPAM Passcode Click here to see a new mix of characters.
This is an anti-SPAM device. It is not case sensitive.

Trinity Dodge Fixed
NewsWebPagesOpinionPeopleObituariesAg & BusinessSportsContact UsLife
Subscriptions | Username & Password Reminder | Change Password | Life

Breeze-Courier & Printing | 212 S Main St. Taylorville, IL 62568 | (217) 824-2233 |

© Copyright 2014 Breeze-Courier & Printing. All Rights Reserved.
Original content may not be reprinted or distributed without the written permission of Breeze-Courier & Printing.

Software © 1998-2021 1up! Software, All Rights Reserved