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home : columns September 15, 2019

Influencer thinking of ending friendships
I feel like many of the friends I've known since I was in high school are resentful of me ever since I've become an influencer. I feel like I'm being mistreated and get ditched by them occasionally. I'm not sure if it is me changing or them being jealous of me. I want to talk to them about this before I end our friendships. How should I discuss this with them?
Saturday, September 14, 2019


Friend wants to celebrate woman's remission
I have a friend who had breast cancer several years ago. She seems to be in the safe zone, so to speak, in that six years have gone by. She told me that if you pass five years without a relapse, you are considered to be cancer-free. I started thinking that maybe this is something I should celebrate with her. Just as I was going to suggest doing something special in honor of her good health, she told me that another friend of hers just died from complications of some kind of cancer that came back after several years.
Friday, September 13, 2019

Pale daughter's sunburn worries parent
My daughter has very fair skin, so I always caution her to stay out of the sun. This summer, she went away for the weekend with some of her high school friends, and when she returned, she had a severe sunburn. Her skin continues to peel, and she is uncomfortable.
Thursday, September 12, 2019

Harriette urges readers to see good in each other
Today is a day of remembrance. Because "war" seems to happen "over there" somewhere, many of us didn't connect to the visceral realities of war and tragedy in an immediate way until this day, 9/11, 18 years ago.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019

New friend cuts off communication without warning
I hit it off with a new friend, and we've been chatting on social media. We have exchanged numbers and have been texting every day. The conversation flowed smoothly.
Tuesday, September 10, 2019

College student questions calling out friends
When I return to college, there are a couple of people I will be seeing for the first time since the semester ended who I promised to make plans with and didn't end up seeing. While some of this was my fault, sometimes the other person flaked on me, which upset me.
Monday, September 9, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a vivid dream the other night that my old boss appeared at an event and asked me how my marriage was going. I said, "Fine." My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years. We have our ups and downs, but mostly I would say we are fine. In my dream, my boss looked at me intently and said, "No! Things are not fine." I woke up with a start and wondered what this meant.
Saturday, September 7, 2019

Boyfriend upset when woman gets a tattoo
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a tattoo on my arm without my boyfriend knowing, and when I told him, he freaked out a bit. He apologized later, but this really struck a nerve with me. I am going to ask him why he thought this was such a big deal; he shouldn't think he has control over my body. How should I approach the relationship if that is the case? -- Tattoo Girl
Friday, September 6, 2019

Boyfriend upset when woman gets a tattoo
I recently got a tattoo on my arm without my boyfriend knowing, and when I told him, he freaked out a bit. He apologized later, but this really struck a nerve with me. I am going to ask him why he thought this was such a big deal; he shouldn't think he has control over my body. How should I approach the relationship if that is the case?
Thursday, September 5, 2019

Parent finds vape pen in teen son's room
When I was straightening up my son's room while he was at camp this summer, I found a vape pen inside his pillowcase. I knew that he has tried vaping, because we talked about it. But I was crystal clear with him that it is bad for him and that he should not continue it. He assured me that he did not like it, he did it a long time ago and it was over. I was shocked to find this little thing that looks like a USB drive in his pillow.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Reader questions telling ex about one-night stand
My girlfriend and I broke up a month ago. We had been dating for two years when things went bad, and we decided to call it quits. I had a one-night stand during our break, but I have been communicating with my ex again, and it seems like we both want to get back together at some point. Should I tell her about my one-night stand immediately, or should I wait for her to ask about it?
Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Co-worker should keep thoughts to himself
I was working on an intense project recently, and after a while, everybody got pretty testy, mainly because of the long hours and the lack of sleep or breaks. One of the members of the team, who has worked on this job for many years, has a short fuse; he started grumbling about the work conditions. He was pretty harmless -- mostly just letting off steam -- but it got back to the big boss, who was very upset. My co-worker apologized, but he continued to grumble about things in private while we were still at the work site. He didn't seem to understand that he should keep his thoughts to himself until he was safely away from the job. How can I impress that upon him?
Monday, September 2, 2019

It's time to talk to teenage son about protection
My 15-year-old son came home late from a party with his friends. In the morning, I noticed that he had a hickey on his neck. Now, I am no prude, but I'm also no dummy. I need to remind him of how to protect himself, but when I attempted to talk about it, he brushed me off, saying it wasn't a big deal.
Saturday, August 31, 2019

Friend wants to reach out after losing touch
I just spent time with some women who are friends with someone I grew up with. I used to be close to this friend's mother, and I would talk to her from time to time over the years, but we lost touch with each other. I learned from these women that my friend's mom is in poor health and her daughter is taking care of her. I want to reach out to say hello, but I also feel terrible that I haven't reached out in several years. Do you think they will appreciate my call, or will they be resentful that it seems like I forgot about them?
Friday, August 30, 2019

Parent wants more information from camp
My daughter spent a month at camp this summer. When she got home, she told me that one of the girls in her group had tried to hurt herself through cutting.
Thursday, August 29, 2019

Upperclassman wants more confidence in public speaking
I am preparing to give a speech in front of the underclassmen at the beginning of the school year. I still have a lot of time to prepare, but I want to make sure that I know exactly what to say. I want to improve my confidence with public speaking. Do you have any tips for me to feel less afraid when I am standing in front of a lot of people?
Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Parent struggles with becoming empty nester
My son is going to leave for college in a week, after he spent a gap year living at home, working and learning how to code. He's my only son, and having him out the house will be a huge change for me and my husband. How would you adjust to having your child away from your home for the first time?
Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Mom feels unappreciated in the kitchen
Before I had my son, I never cooked. My husband and I live in New York City, so it was easy to order in or go out; we could eat healthy at a good price. But after we had our son, we had to start preparing meals. I took on dinner and have become good at it.
Monday, August 26, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been wearing my hair straight for many years, even though it is naturally curly. I'm now a student at a relatively conservative, mostly white school, and it may not seem like a big deal, but one way I fit in is by wearing my hair like my classmates.
Saturday, August 24, 2019

Talent agent causing problems with career
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm working with a talent agency, and my agent constantly messes up appointments. He makes a lot of typos and is hard to contact to get clarification. Sometimes his mistakes make me late for auditions, so I want to improve my communication with him. What can I do? -- Agent Problems
Friday, August 23, 2019

Mom feels she hasn't given as much to son
I am a single mom with two teenage children. I spent a lot of time and energy working with my daughter to ensure that she did well in school, and I got her into a great college.
Thursday, August 22, 2019

Son wants to help stressed-out mother
My mother has been getting upset at my grandmother a lot recently, and it has been hard on my family. My mother gets stressed out because she regulates my grandmother's medications and manages her diet, exercise and various health problems. However, she then ends up getting burnt out to the point that there is yelling and crying every few days. I'm not sure how much I can do, but I'd like to support both of them so this happens less. How can I be of help?
Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Boyfriend disappears for the summer
I have been dating a guy this year who seemed attentive. We would get together at least once a week, sometimes more. Then summer came. He has been virtually absent all summer long. There has always been an excuse, like he had to travel here or there to deal with family or to help a sick friend. Summer is almost over, and I have hardly seen him. It has been so bad that I haven't even been able to sit down with him and find out what's going on. He couldn't be more different now than he was for the previous six months. Should I just move on, or should I try to get a handle on things?
Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Reader upset by bad breath
I have never been someone to have bad breath -- at least as far as I know -- but the other day I was participating in a meeting with a small group of people, and I noticed that whenever I was speaking, they would hold their hands up to their noses. They tried to be discreet about it, but I figured it out after a while.
Monday, August 19, 2019

Son needs energizing before school starts
For the first time in eight years, I did not enroll my son in any type of summer camp or organized summer activity. He was tired from his first year in high school and did not want to go back to camp. He has had a few long weekends with his friends and two mini-vacations with our family, but mostly he sleeps and does little to nothing. He has to read a bit before school starts, and I'm having a hard time getting him motivated to do that. Clearly, I made a mistake giving him a break this summer. How can I get him energized before school starts again?
Saturday, August 17, 2019

Son's career strains relationship with parents
I was raised in a conservative family and now work at a progressive media company where I create content that my parents do not approve of. I do not think we will be able to reconcile our ideological differences, and I'm worried that our relationship has been strained as a result. How can I maintain a good relationship with my parents when we fundamentally disagree on a topic that my entire career is based on?
Friday, August 16, 2019

African American employee worried about standing out
I recently started a new job, and I am the only African American person in the entire workplace. I don't know how to feel or what to expect because this is the first time I've been the only minority at my place of work. I'm not sure if I should even pay attention to it or if I should keep my guard up. While I don't want to be at work with a negative perspective, I can tell that most of the employees are a little shocked that I got this position. Some are masking it by being overly nice. Can you give me some tips on how to be comfortable in an environment where no one looks like me?
Thursday, August 15, 2019

Rude 15-year-old can handle confrontation
We recently went on a family vacation, and our overall time was great. However, there were some uncomfortable moments. My father invited some of his family from Florida and South Carolina, and instead of exhibiting Southern charm, they were pretty rude. Our family welcomed them with open arms and tried to show them a good time, but they seemed ungrateful.
Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Mother finds it hard to be only woman in house
I am a woman with a husband and a 19-year-old son, and recently I've been finding it difficult to be the only woman in the household. Sometimes it feels like I can be heard only when I raise my voice. What course of action can I take to convey these feelings to my husband and my son in a healthier manner?
Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Tattooed woman wants to show mom her ink
I have been hiding my tattoos from my parents for years. They disapprove of tattoos in general and have somewhat traditional beliefs. I have two tattoos -- a large one on my upper arm that can be concealed under a T-shirt sleeve and a small one on my fingers. Recently my mother discovered my small tattoo and berated me only a little bit. The reveal went better than I thought it would, probably because the tattoo she saw is very small.
Monday, August 12, 2019

Woman doesn't get back to mentor in timely fashion
I have a young woman in my life who is important to me. I consider myself her mentor. She calls whenever she needs anything, and I do my best to be available at a moment's notice. I am beginning to see, though, that when I need her, she is often MIA. If I text or call her, I may have to follow up three or four times before she responds. Meanwhile, if she texts or calls me, I do my best to drop everything to make time for her. I don't like how this is balancing out.
Saturday, August 10, 2019

Parent wants to cut down on teen's screen time
How do you approach teen smartphone and computer usage? I think my son's constant use of phones and other screens -- especially at night -- is not great for his health. He is 16 years old and is constantly on some device. I know that he plays interactive video games with his friends, but I am worried about whatever else he may be doing. What are some ways I can limit his phone usage without being too harsh?
Friday, August 9, 2019

New employee worried about job expectations
I just got a job -- finally. I am excited but also a bit worried. I will be working at an upscale restaurant that has many expectations about how the staff behaves. They expect us to speak perfect English and to know all of the rules of etiquette. I'm not sure how I was hired, because there is so much that I do not know. Still, I will give it my all. Do you have any recommendations for how I can get up to speed quickly?
Thursday, August 8, 2019

Husband ignores reader after stressful day at work
My husband worked really late the other day. I called him throughout the day to make sure he was OK and to share a cheerful word or two. When he finally got home, I called out to say hello. He didn't say anything, went into the back of the house and disappeared for hours. I know he was exhausted, but the least he could have done was to have said hello to me before holing up. I don't want to make a big deal of it, but it hurt my feelings. I don't know when the right time would be to bring it up. He is completely stressed by work. I don't want to add to that, but I do want him to be kind to me. How can I get him to think of me?
Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Reader struggles to remember new names
Whenever I run into people I've met before and they approach me knowing my name, I always feel really bad when I forget theirs. What are some ways that I can either admit to forgetting somebody's name in a less embarrassing way or have them tell me their names naturally within the conversation?
Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Parent wants to cut down on teen's screen time
How do you approach teen smartphone and computer usage? I think my son's constant use of phones and other screens -- especially at night -- is not great for his health. He is 16 years old and is constantly on some device. I know that he plays interactive video games with his friends, but I am worried about whatever else he may be doing. What are some ways I can limit his phone usage without being too harsh?
Monday, August 5, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am really worried about my husband. He seems to be in good enough health. He exercises daily and eats well, but he hasn't had a physical in more than 10 years. He doesn't believe in going to the doctor. Instead he reads about holistic alternatives to traditional medicine and chooses to "heal" himself whenever he has an issue. One time, that landed him in the hospital because he did the wrong thing, but he still didn't get a physical.
Saturday, August 3, 2019

Lending a dress carries awkward risk
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends asked me if she can borrow a formal dress for an event that she is attending. She has a limited budget and really can't afford to go out and buy a gown. Under normal circumstances, I would be OK with that. She seems responsible, and I hardly wear my formal clothes.
Friday, August 2, 2019

It is never too late to support a grieving friend
I feel so bad. My good friend and neighbor lost her father recently. She and I had been talking about his illness, and I was supporting her emotionally to the best of my ability. But I was traveling for work when he died and was away at the time of the funeral.
Thursday, August 1, 2019

Freelance worker must make time for jury duty
I work freelance and do not make a dollar when I am off work. I just got called in for jury duty, and it's at my busiest time of work. I have to go, because they threatened to fine or arrest me because I have been unable to make it in the past. I am worried that I am going to lose work if I get picked for a jury. What can I do?
Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Son has grown lazy without structure of camp
Usually I put my son in summer camp, but I didn't make him go this year. He wanted to have less structured time, which I understand. He has been oversubscribed for most of his life.
Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Well-intentioned remark was actually racist
I was working with my colleague the other day on a longtime project. We were chitchatting, and everything was fine until he attempted to say something complimentary, but it really was racist. I know he was trying to be nice to me. I also know that he cares a lot about me, but I feel like I should tell him that what he said was off. He told me that he thought that my skin color and that of another woman were so beautiful, just the right color of brown -- not too dark, not too light.
Monday, July 29, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who tries to be helpful but ends up being whiny. When I tell her something that I'm working on, she immediately looks to figure out how she can be of help. That is generous of her. But the next thing you know, she is blowing up my phone wanting me to stop everything I'm doing to respond to her in that moment. I am busy and can't always do that, plus her manner is really annoying. How can I change my attitude to be more open to my friend's help? Or better yet, how can I get her to chill a bit as she is trying to help me? -- Overwhelmed
Saturday, July 27, 2019

Husband resents spouse's new job
DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a new job this year, and it has me traveling more than ever. I like it, but it is taking a toll on my husband. He is so dependent upon me, I don't think he eats when I am away. I do my best to make food for him that he can warm up, but sometimes I just can't do it. My schedule is full, and I find it challenging to do everything. My husband does know how to cook, but he doesn't like to.
Friday, July 26, 2019

Reader is feeling overwhelmed by the future
I feel like such a loser. I had a great career earlier in my life, but I lost my job almost 10 years ago. Since then, I have had small projects here and there, but nothing has stuck. Now I'm approaching my 60s, and I have nothing to show for it. At this rate, I will never be able to retire. I feel like such an idiot. I have met people with no education and with menial jobs who have saved way more than I have and who are set for their twilight years. I don't know what to do. I feel like it's too late for me, but I have to figure out something.
Thursday, July 25, 2019

Barista needs to manage sleep better
I'm having trouble managing my sleep schedule, and I have a real issue with staying up late, sometimes when I have work in the morning, and sometimes when I just want to watch more television. When I don't sleep enough, I wake up exhausted and grouchy. I work in a coffee shop, so often I have to get up early.
Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Vacationer finds it difficult to relax
When I travel with my children and my husband, I find myself overpacking to ensure that I have everything I need for them and for myself. During our vacations, I find it difficult to relax and wind down. I'm always preoccupied with one thing or another. I'd like to take it easy for my next trip. How can I achieve this goal and break free from self-induced worrying all the time?
Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Reader needs a break from monster boss
I work for a woman who can be extraordinarily difficult. It's so bad that I break into a cold sweat before scheduled calls with her. I'm constantly worried that I will not measure up to her expectations. My boss is rude and condescending usually, though other times she acts like an angel. I never know which person I'm going to get. I need this job, so I don't want to walk away from her, but I am growing weary of feeling like I have to be on guard. What can I do to stop letting her get under my skin?
Monday, July 22, 2019

Freelancer can't turn down work
I am a freelance producer, and I have struggled a lot with finding enough work. This year has been different. I have had quite a few small jobs, and I am grateful for them. The problem is that it is hard to keep track of small projects when they overlap. I scheduled a short vacation this summer, but then I got a gig and had to do the prep work during my vacation. My boyfriend was mad because he took off work from his 9-to-5 and expected me to do the same. I wanted to, but I worry about turning down work when I remember so well that a year ago I had none. How do I manage this new reality?
Saturday, July 20, 2019

Allergic reader has to skip trip
I suffer from allergies in a severe manner. I am allergic to everything from food to bugs to dust to flowers. The summer season is tough for me.
Friday, July 19, 2019

Employee too anxious to speak at meetings
I am unable to express my thoughts during meetings due to my anxiety and fear of speaking out of turn to my superiors. Throughout my life I've had difficulty properly expressing my thoughts when I speak, whether it be due to nerves or stumbling on my words. What are some ways I can shed this fear and anxiety and be comfortable to speak in meetings?
Thursday, July 18, 2019

Husband's drinking embarrasses reader
When my husband starts enjoying himself at a party, he tends to drink too much, and he gets obnoxious. It can be pretty embarrassing. I don't know what to say to him to get him to calm down. Once he has passed a certain point, there's no turning back. How can I encourage him to be more moderate in his public drinking? I want to have fun with him, but it often turns ugly.
Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Friend wonders about giving opinion to sick man
My husband and I went to visit good friends we hadn't seen in a year. We'd heard that the husband wasn't feeling well, but I assumed he had a cold or something. When we saw him, we were shocked. He has lost a ton of weight, and he looks frail. We were as loving as always, but it shook us to our core. We don't quite know what to do to support them during what is obviously a difficult time.
Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Husband is critical over meaningless things
My husband is hypercritical of everything I do. I normally cook for three people, because that's what makes up our household. We recently had a guest to stay with us for a few days, so I had to cook for four. One day I cooked a little bit too much spinach, and you would have thought I had committed a crime. He criticized me in front of everyone for getting the portions wrong and for wasting food.
Monday, July 15, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: Is working for free ethical? I struggle with this topic with both family and friends who have their own views about it. But the overall consensus would be that those days are over, and whatever skills a person has should be compensated in some way. I do have some people who say the opposite and believe that working for free is crucial in proving one's self and gaining necessary knowledge. What are your thoughts about both arguments? -- Working for Free
Saturday, July 13, 2019

Couple must come to terms with finances
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm having a hard time keeping up with the Joneses, so to speak. My husband and I moved into a new neighborhood after he got a fat promotion. We like it a lot, and some of our neighbors are great. But we realized quickly that they have many expectations about how they engage each other. They have already hosted weekend parties and invited the whole neighborhood this summer. We have attended some fun events, but they are way over the top for our budget. What we thought was a leg up in our lifestyle is nothing to these people. We are poor by no means, but we feel like we stick out. How can we continue to live within our means and be active participants in our new neighborhood? -- Sticker Shock
Friday, July 12, 2019

Daughter needs structure during the summer
This is the first summer in years that my daughter is not going to camp. She didn't want to go anymore, and my husband and I appreciated the financial relief of not having to pay that big bill. What we didn't plan was how she would spend her time.
Thursday, July 11, 2019

Man with cancer doesn't share diagnosis
I recently met a man through a mutual friend, and I find him kind and thoughtful. We have spoken a few times and even met up as a group with others, and we always have fun.

I learned from our mutual friend that this man has cancer, and he is working hard to fight it -- but he has never mentioned it to me.

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Neighbor wants to reconnect with friend
I have a neighbor I used to be close with, growing up in the same apartment building, but we grew apart when we got older. I want to rekindle our friendship, but I have no idea where to start. We have taken vastly different paths in our lives and lack any common ground. He doesn't seem to be very sociable nowadays, and our small talk has been trite. How can I get him to open up to me so we can be friends again?
Tuesday, July 9, 2019

World Almanac
Today is the 189th day of 2019 and the 18th day of summer.
Monday, July 8, 2019

Reader questions whether men and women can be friends
Can women and men really be friends with no strings attached? Someone brought it to my attention that men pursue friendships with women initially because they are attracted to them and think about one thing only. My friend then said that men befriend other men if they have something in common.
Monday, July 8, 2019

Friend won't stop posting about breakup
My friend has been broadcasting his recent breakup all over social media, and I'm concerned about him. I do not agree with the fact that he's posting all of these things as he seems extremely hurt and is being unkind to his ex, who is my also my friend. I want to approach him; however, I do not know how to comfort him effectively in a volatile situation like this. How should I reach out to him and tell him to maybe avoid making these posts, but without crossing a line?
Friday, July 5, 2019

Harriette wishes readers a happy Fourth of July
DEAR READERS: Happy Independence Day! I trust that you are enjoying your family and friends on this special day that marks the freedom that America promises all of us every day. We all have stories and memories of the Fourth of July.
Thursday, July 4, 2019

Parent wants to check in on son's religion
During his first year of college, my son joined a fraternity. I am concerned that what he went through during his pledging process did not adhere to his and our religious ideals. I don't want to control his religious identity, but he tells me he is still Muslim, and I expect him to live in accordance with our faith.
Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Friend ignores high schooler around popular people
One of my best friends gives me the cold shoulder whenever they are around someone popular. When we hang out together, it is fun, and we share a bunch of secrets, laughs and jokes. We are in high school, and I appreciate this because it's not easy for me to make friends. But if they are around someone who is cool, it's like my friend forgets about me completely and tries to impress these people. It hurts my feelings, and I am unsure how to bring it up.
Tuesday, July 2, 2019

College student should look for new summer job
I just got laid off from my summer job working at a bar. The reason is unfortunate: The bar owners expected us to be very busy during the summer, but business is not what we expected. I planned to work there until going back to college. I tried to convince my bosses to wait a little while, since the season has just begun, but they let me go. I don't know what to do now. I need to work, plus my parents don't want me just hanging out at home all summer. They said I need to find something to do, even if I can't find a job.
Monday, July 1, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've really connected and hit it off with a new friend I've been chatting with on social media. We have exchanged numbers and have been texting every day. The conversation flows smoothly. However, I've been noticing a pull back. He started to take several hours to respond to my messages and then suddenly completely stopped. I waited a couple of days before sending any more messages.
Saturday, June 29, 2019

Mom's drug use hurts her family
DEAR HARRIETTE: My elderly mother is addicted to prescription drugs. It has been negatively affecting my mental health, and I have been taking out my frustrations on my kids. How do I stop this cycle of negativity between generations? What are some coping mechanisms I can use to deal with my mother's drug use? -- Chain Mom
Friday, June 28, 2019

Ball boy lacks motivation to try out again
I've been dealing with motivation issues at my summer job working as a ball boy at a tennis tournament. Recently, there has been a massive overhaul in the ball boy rules, and as a result, the tournament administration is requiring veterans to try out again. For some reason, I have no motivation to try out, and I am not sure if it is out of pure laziness, my fundamental disagreement with the administration, or if I no longer want to be a ball boy. Do you have any advice for how I can understand the reasoning behind my lack of motivation?
Thursday, June 27, 2019

Nice young woman wants to be in a relationship
I feel like I am constantly making mistakes in love. I am 23 years old, and I have had a few bad relationships. They started out OK, but every single time, something weird happened. I feel like I stay too long or for the wrong reasons. I make smart decisions in other areas of my life, but in romance, I suck. My friends all say that I am a nice young woman, I have good manners and I am pleasant to be around. I go overboard to make a man feel comfortable, but nothing seems to work. I want to have a relationship as I build my career. Do you have any ideas on what I can do?
Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Reader wonders about meeting "the one"
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or even unspoken love? I'm currently in my third year of college and have noticed a certain guy around campus since I was a freshman. I can tell that he is attracted to me as well. When we first locked eyes, it's as if we recognized each other from somewhere. However, we have never actually said a word to each other.
Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Father wants to apologize conditionally to son
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an argument with my high school-aged son about something frivolous, and it devolved to the point where we both said hurtful things to each other. We have since put the argument behind us and acted normally, but without any real resolution or apologies from either side. As a father, at what point should I admit my transgressions, and how should I tell this to my son while conveying the idea that he is also in the wrong? -- Improving Dad
Monday, June 24, 2019

Boyfriend wants woman to stop dyeing hair
My hair has been mostly gray since I was in my early 30s. I can thank my mom for that. Her hair turned white by 35. I have been dying my hair for years because I'm not ready to go "natural," so to speak.
Saturday, June 22, 2019

Parent wants son to get academic support
For the most part, my son is a good student, but he struggled in one class all year long. When he got his first bad grade, I suggested that we get a tutor, but he insisted that he would be OK, and he discouraged me from getting involved. Now, at the end of the year, he is still struggling with this class. I am so mad at myself that I didn't trust my instincts and get him the support he needed. How can I convince my son that there is no shame in getting academic support?
Friday, June 21, 2019

College student mourns ex who died by suicide
I just learned that my first girlfriend from ninth grade died by suicide in her first year in college. Though we did not stay together as a couple, we did remain friends. We even talked a little bit this year as we were getting into the groove of college. I knew that she would get depressed or sad at times, but this came as a complete shock. She was a nice girl, and she was smart and seemed to be on the right track. I am so saddened by this, and I wonder if there was something more I could have done as her friend.
Thursday, June 20, 2019

Pregnant woman wants advice on avoiding pregnancies
I have two kids, and I am pregnant with my third. I love my kids beyond words, but I am not sure if I want any more. I am in a relationship with another man -- not my new baby's father -- and intimacy is important. However, I don't believe in birth control or contraceptives. I am considering getting my tubes tied, but I understand that this is a big decision for me and my family.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Reader wants to support series, but has reservations
There is a new Netflix series called "When They See Us" that retells and visualizes the story of the Central Park Five. I remember hearing about this story while growing up, and I felt a deep sympathy for the boys who lost their childhood while falsely imprisoned.
Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Reader wants to support series, but has reservations
There is a new Netflix series called "When They See Us" that retells and visualizes the story of the Central Park Five. I remember hearing about this story while growing up, and I felt a deep sympathy for the boys who lost their childhood while falsely imprisoned.
Monday, June 17, 2019











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