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home : columns January 24, 2019

Employee questions revealing mistake to boss
I made a big mistake on the job, and I am not sure what to do about it. I know what happened and why, and it was definitely my fault. The thing is, if I tell anybody, I am probably going to lose my job. I don't think that an apology will be enough. My mistake cost my company money and probably damaged their reputation a bit, too.
Wednesday, January 23, 2019


Check recipient wonders if it's too late to cash it
I was given a check by a family friend for Christmas last year, and I just found it. It's more than a year old. I feel horrible about that, because he is close to our family. I don't want him to think that I ignored him, and I also want to cash the check. Do you think it's too late to deposit it?
Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Parent wants to keep teen daughter safe from predators
I just watched the Lifetime series about R&B singer R. Kelly, which alleges he had sex with minors. It was horrible to watch. There were so many stories of young teenagers being abused.
Monday, January 21, 2019

Reader caught in the middle of fighting friends
I have been friends with a small group of people for most of my life. Two of them had a falling-out about three years ago, and they have not spoken since. This has put me in an uncomfortable situation.
Saturday, January 19, 2019

Past still haunting formerly homeless reader
I was homeless for about two years. Finally, after a few false starts, a housing specialist was able to find me an amazing apartment in Brooklyn, New York. What I realize is that while I was homeless, I did not have to worry about purchasing groceries because the shelter I stayed in provided me with three meals per day. After two years, I went to the grocery store for the first time. While I was walking down the aisles, I stopped in my tracks. I stood still for about 10 minutes, paralyzed, because I didn't know what to purchase. I finally pulled myself together, bought a few items and went home.
Friday, January 18, 2019

Friend toots her own horn at work
I have a friend who has had a hard time finding work. I recently helped her get a freelance job where I have also been working, and she's doing pretty well. The problem I have noticed is that she is constantly selling herself, telling stories about things she accomplished in the past. These victories are from 20-plus years ago, and the young professionals she is working with don't care. I think it hurts her to bring up her past because it highlights her age. We still live in a society that is sensitive to age and gender. How can I suggest to her that she just do her job and stop singing her own praises?
Thursday, January 17, 2019

Sorority sisters reach out to isolated woman
I belong to a sorority that I joined in college. Many of the women have stayed close over the years, and now I wish I had, too. They tried to keep me in the loop, but I was too busy. Now that a lot of time has passed, I feel uncomfortable trying to work my way back into the mix. They keep reaching out to me, but I worry that they are all close and have been for years, and I am the odd girl out. I don't remember all of their names, and I feel stupid having to reacquaint myself when everybody else is in sync.
Wednesday, January 16, 2019

New employee has poor work ethic
A friend of mine referred a woman to me for a job. I have so much respect for my friend that I hired his referral without checking any additional references. That turned out to be a bad idea. This woman has worked with me for three weeks, and other than the first few days, it has gone downhill -- and fast. I gave her an assignment, and she didn't meet the deadline in her first week. When I asked her about her progress, I got excuse after excuse. She was supposed to turn in two reports by the end of week one; I have yet to receive a full report. I got only a couple of pages of notes.
Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Association bylaws cause strife in relationship
I have been involved in my cultural community for many years, and I feel strongly that I should support our causes and work to build up the community in any way I can. I am African-American, and I understand the issues that we face; I have marched and petitioned and participated in Black Lives Matter and other things over the years to support my people. I am very active.
Monday, January 14, 2019

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: We had a power outage in our building, so the electric company guy made the rounds to all of our apartments. One of my neighbors opened the door for him -- naked. I learned about this from him when he was working on my apartment. He was so taken aback he said he now avoids her.
Friday, January 11, 2019

Reader living hand to mouth needs a plan
DEAR HARRIETTE: I hear all this talk about the economy improving, but honestly, my friends and I are not doing much better than a year or so back. It is tough. I feel like we got left behind or something. Or maybe it's only talk about the major improvements in the economy.
Friday, January 11, 2019

Girlfriend's jealousy over job bugs boyfriend
I thought I was lucky when I met my girlfriend. We both work in the same field and are super-dedicated to our jobs. We are at the beginning of our careers, and we are both all-in on the hustle of making things work. This was great at first. Then I got a couple of gigs where I got some shine and some dollars. When I called to tell my girlfriend about it, she got her back up. She said she was proud of me, but I could tell she was jealous. Instead of asking me about what happened and how I got the gig, she started talking about something that she was working on. It was weird.
Thursday, January 10, 2019

Wife resents husband's ability to lose weight
My husband and I are in our late 50s, and we are working hard to get fit. My husband is much further along, as he is way more disciplined than I am. But we are both working on it.
Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Friend feels alone, even with people around him
I spoke to an old friend, who told me that one of his closest friends just died. He said that in the past year, he has lost most of his oldest friends and worries that he will be alone soon. He has a wife and a grown child, plus I am his friend, and he has other friends, too. But I understand what he means. Sometimes you can feel totally alone, even if you have people around. Feeling a sense of mortality when you start losing your friends is natural, I guess.
Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Live-in girlfriend ready to get married
I've been in a five-year-long relationship with my girlfriend, and we recently moved in together. A few nights ago, she expressed how upset she is that we aren't married. I keep telling her that I won't be ready to be married until I am at a certain financial level. I reminded her how far I've come to fulfill that goal over the past five years, which got her to calm down again.
Monday, January 7, 2019

Boyfriend and kids don't get along
I have been divorced 15 years and have two adult children. Recently, my children told me they do not like the man I have been dating for several years and do not want him to attend any family events. I believe they don't like him because he is the complete opposite of their father. Also, he is an attorney, so it goes without saying that he is opinionated.
Saturday, January 5, 2019

Girlfriend is too strict with reader's kids
I'm a working professional with twin 10-year-old boys. My girlfriend moved in two months ago. I have my boys only a couple of days each week, and I like to make the most of our time together and choose my battles carefully. My girlfriend is making them miserable with strict rules, and she tolerates no annoying -- but normal -- behaviors. She doesn't have children of her own.
Friday, January 4, 2019

After miscarriage, woman contemplates affair
I am a 27-year-old woman. I had a miscarriage four months ago. During my pregnancy, my husband was awful to me. We fought a lot, and I ended up losing the baby. He is a good husband, and the fighting started only when I found out I was pregnant. He supported me throughout the grieving process, but I started to lose interest in our marriage.
Thursday, January 3, 2019

Unattached reader doesn't want to socialize
I'm an only child, raised by parents who were approaching 50 when I was born. Growing up, I was the only child on my street. I attended a small religious school that was several miles away from where we lived. I grew up very alone, and I learned to like being alone. I've come to realize that is my problem: I like being alone, yet everyone around me assumes that I am lonely, because I've never been married and have no children or other social ties.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Son's abusive marriage worries parents
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 30-year-old son is in an abusive marriage. His wife hits him, locks him out of the house, calls him humiliating names and has alienated him from his friends and family. This has caused him to lose 50 pounds, and he has developed dangerous stress-related symptoms.
Monday, December 31, 2018

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year, my husband and I traveled across the country to visit our son and his family. Unfortunately, the visit was not a friendly one. My daughter-in-law made herself unavailable. She wasn't rude, but she made sure she was never at home when we were there. She didn't join us for dinners or activities. My son always made excuses.
Saturday, December 29, 2018

Parents want to provide champagne to teens
DEAR HARRIETTE: My family and I were invited to a holiday party with friends from our son's previous school. The children are in 9th grade, and they will be reuniting at this event with their parents.
Friday, December 28, 2018

Mom's nipple rings embarrass daughters
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have no interest in body piercings (except our ears). However, our 50-year-old mother recently got her nipples pierced and has started wearing jewelry there -- UGH!
Thursday, December 27, 2018

Displaced cousin crowds college student
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 21-year old college student. Recently, my cousin (also 21) moved in with my parents and me because her mom is verbally and mentally abusive.
Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Longtime girlfriend refuses to accept breakup
I'm 39 years old, and I've been in a monogamous relationship for seven years. Not long after moving into the house I own, my girlfriend quit her job. She's been unemployed for more than five years now. We've had sex once in the last three years.
Monday, December 24, 2018

Future mother-in-law wants to join honeymoon
I have a huge problem. My fiance and I have been together for two years, and we're getting married next June. The problem is my soon-to-be mother-in-law.
Saturday, December 22, 2018

Husband's ex-wife wants his sperm
I am a young woman who recently married a professional athlete. We both want children, but in a world where so many children are without loving homes, I can't imagine having biological offspring when we could provide a wonderful life for children who would never otherwise have one. My husband has always been supportive of this, but recently he brought up an interesting proposition: His ex-wife, who is older than me and has never remarried, asked him to be a sperm donor. She has a successful career and would not need financial support, but I think the idea is bizarre. He argues that they both have excellent genetics that would be "wasted" if they do not jump at what could be their only chance to have biological children. He said it is no different from donating sperm to a bank, except that he knows the mother will be able to provide well for his offspring. They split amicably due to the pressures of both of their careers. Am I being selfish to say she should find another sperm donor?
Friday, December 21, 2018

Therapist recommends speaking to wild child's parents
I just read the letter from a person whose sleep is constantly disturbed by a rambunctious child in the apartment upstairs. You cautioned the writer not to suggest to the parents that the child be checked for developmental delays or other conditions. I am a speech-language pathologist who has worked with children of all ages with autism, ADHD and myriad other conditions that would produce the kind of behavior described in the letter. As a professional, I need to emphasize that the earlier a child gets attention for these kinds of issues, the more likely the child is to be able to learn to manage -- or even sometimes overcome -- their problems. It might not be comfortable for the parents, but it also might open them up to seeking appropriate help, which should be free from their school district if the child is of preschool age. Or the writer might get a brief but effective explanation of what is going on.
Thursday, December 20, 2018

Son's girlfriend refuses to wear a bra
My 20-year-old son has a 19-year-old girlfriend who is well-endowed and rarely wears a bra. She also wears low-cut clothing and often looks like she's about to fall out. The dress she was wearing the other night was so small on her that she could barely zip it up all the way, and a nipple was close to making an appearance. When she walked in the door, she looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and said, "I know this is a low-cut dress," as if she knew what my expectations are, but came looking like that anyway.
Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Employer doesn't want to be nice when firing woman
I got into a big argument with a woman I hired to help me work on a project; she has been flaky pretty much the whole time. I tried to be calm with her, but her lack of professionalism and overall sloppiness sent me over the edge. We tried to get back on course, but she continues to be late and act lackadaisical about her duties. I have written up a strong reprimand that concludes with firing her. I showed it to a colleague, and he suggested that I sit on it and then try to find less intense language. This is hard for me. I want it to be clear to her that the way that she has worked -- or not -- with me has put me in a horrible position. I don't want to be nice. What do you think?
Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Woman wants recognition for the roles she's taken on
I am now acting as a mom and wife, but without the actual titles. My boyfriend has said he's "just not there yet" when it comes to marriage and that at this point he would be marrying me only to make me happy. I feel stuck now that I am living with him and his child even though he doesn't see us getting married. Meanwhile, I'm a successful professional in my 30s. How can he not want to marry me? What should I do?
Monday, December 17, 2018

Couple wonders how to approach bragging friends
Saturday, December 15, 2018

Boyfriend lies about living situation
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating a guy for a year and a half. We spend just about every weekend together, and I've met his kids and parents. I've also gone to a few family functions. When we started dating, he told me he was living with his cousin and her kids on the other side of town. I never checked, and I recently found out he's living with another woman. They've been living together for five years. When I asked him about it, he told me it was true.
Friday, December 14, 2018

Boyfriend's daughter causes strain on relationship
My boyfriend is in his mid-40s, with a 21-year-old daughter. He paid for her to study cosmetology. During that time, he paid all her bills. Well, she finished school and moved back in, and she now says she's no longer interested in beauty as a career. She has never worked a day in her life. She totaled her car, and he asked that I help her find another one. Last week, she had the nerve to ask for $400.
Thursday, December 13, 2018

Woman having affair struggles with what to do
I never thought this would happen to me: I am a 35-year-old married woman who is having a full-blown affair.
Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Reader questions social media connections
A woman I knew professionally and have been peripherally connected to over the years died suddenly. She leaves behind several children and plenty of friends. I feel horrible about it. Though we were not close, I am sad. Part of this may be the shock of a woman under 50 dying of unknown causes. It definitely makes me question my own life expectancy. But also, I realize how I "know" more people through social media than through actually being in touch. I don't know that this woman would have ever been my actual friend, but I do think that I rely on the internet and texting more than I should. I have plenty of true friends whose voices I haven't heard for years. We stay connected electronically.
Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Friend badmouthing man with whom she had affair
One of my recently separated friends enjoys hosting get-togethers at his place. They end up being more like singles mixers, which is pretty cool. I invited one of my girlfriends to introduce her to one of his friends. She's looking to settle down, and so is he. These two have a lot in common, so I thought they would be a great couple. I introduced them, and the guy was wowed. She, on the other hand, said nothing other than that he was a nice guy. She didn't seem interested, so I left it alone.
Monday, December 10, 2018

Cousin should invest in himself, not pyramid schemes
My cousin seems to put a lot of energy into pyramid schemes.
Saturday, December 8, 2018

Friend seeks validation for his work
A good friend has been complaining about how his co-worker is always looking for validation. This same friend comes to me on a regular basis looking for validation himself. This dude sends me samples of his work so I can give my "honest opinion." The work is good, but I've had enough. Once in a while, it's OK, but this has become more and more frequent. How do I explain to him he's doing the same thing that he's complaining to me about?
Friday, December 7, 2018

Husband doesn't pay attention to wife's schedule
I had a huge argument with my husband because I feel he doesn't make enough time for me. We're both working professionals, but we approach our lives and work differently. I will see to it that I set aside time for him to let him know I'm thinking about him and I'm always going to be there for him.
Thursday, December 6, 2018

Friend needs help with shopping and food addictions
One of my closest friends has a terrible shopping habit. With all the money she's spent in the past year, I think she could have made a down payment on a home. I not-so-jokingly told her she has a problem, which she acknowledged. Now the problem is getting bigger because she's putting on a lot of weight. The last time I saw her, she looked seven months pregnant. How do I get her to face her problems without shopping or food?
Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Neighbor worried about rambunctious child
My neighbor above me has a small child who looks to be about 5 years old. This kid is always running back and forth at all hours of the night. He acts out a lot, and the other neighbors have also noticed. His tantrums are out of control. The only reason I'm concerned is because I hear it all. Like I said, they live above me. Is there a polite way to suggest they have their child tested for developmental challenges?
Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Daughter afraid to leave home for college
My daughter decided to take a one-year break before attending college. I wasn't happy with this idea at all. Since she's been home the past few months, I realize she's afraid to leave home. She's now thinking about going to a nearby school instead of the university she initially wanted to attend, which was farther away. I believe the school she originally selected is the better option. How do I encourage her to leave home for the better school?
Monday, December 3, 2018

Employee must not badmouth difficult boss before leaving
How should I handle myself in a situation like that? I also have to be mindful of my own reputation. I would like to move to another gig as soon as I find something, but I've been told never to badmouth my current job in order to get to a new one.
Saturday, December 1, 2018

Woman's family should look into assisted living
We don't need more people on the streets just because this family can't cope. Would I be out of line to suggest my friend find an assisted living facility for her daughter rather than encouraging her to seek government funds for her own place?
Friday, November 30, 2018

Aspiring comedian still hounded by parents about medicine
My parents are having a hard time accepting this, which makes going home for Christmas dreadful. How do I cope with my parents drilling me about becoming a doctor?
Thursday, November 29, 2018

Annoying co-worker should be dealt with directly
I have a colleague who seems to spend a great deal of time goofing off. He's always spreading gossip, and I'm pretty sure the rest of the team doesn't care much for him.
Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Friend obsessed with marrying rich man
She isn't the most polished, and even if she were, it's tacky behavior. I thought to myself, no wonder she's single. The fact that she talks about money a lot and brings little to the table is so annoying. Do I mention this to her, or do I walk away, leaving her to figure things out herself?
Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Freelancer unsure how to comfort co-worker
I work freelance, but I often interact with the same small crew of people. I was on a job with one of my co-workers, sitting at dinner after a long couple of days of work when he became visibly upset while talking on the phone. When he got off the phone, he told me that one of his longtime friends had just died. She was in her 50s -- kind of young to die, so obviously something bad had happened, though he didn't say the cause of death.
Monday, November 26, 2018

Wife angry about checks sent to mother-in-law
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been giving my mother money for my whole life. I send her small checks each month. I learned to do this from my dad when I was a teenager. He taught me that it was our responsibility as her children to take care of our mother, just as she had taken care of us when we were growing up. I haven't discussed this with anyone. It has just been my practice.
Friday, November 23, 2018

We all must remember: every vote counts
DEAR HARRIETTE: I went out canvassing for a candidate in my city because I feel so strongly that every vote makes a difference. I can't tell you how many people who are registered to vote told me that they weren't going to vote. They said they didn't see what the point of it was. I was absolutely horrified when I talked to some of these people.
Friday, November 23, 2018

Couple in deteriorating marriage should reconnect
My husband and I have been kind of going with the flow for years. We get along OK, but we are not close. I was thinking things are better than a few years back because at least we are not arguing much anymore. I realize, though, that this is not good. It's almost like we have agreed to be civil, but we hardly ever talk to each other. We are barely even roommates. When I was starting off my life, I spent more time talking to my roommate than I do talking to him. I'm not thinking of leaving him. Shoot, I couldn't afford that even if I wanted to. I'm worried that when our children go away to college, everything is going to fall apart. What can I do now to make my marriage better?
Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Couple's fights worry next door neighbor
My next-door neighbors have a volatile relationship. I often hear them arguing late at night. Sometimes it sounds like it gets violent, too. I am so worried for them, but I'm not quite sure what to do.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Overweight sister's health is cause for concern
I look at my sister, and I am so worried about her. She has gained almost 100 pounds in the past few years. Her ankles are swollen, and she doesn't look healthy. I love her, and I don't want to see her die. I asked her if she has gotten a physical recently, and she brushed me off. 
Monday, November 19, 2018

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor passed away recently. I used to see him every morning when he took his walk. We would speak, but I never went to their house. Now that he is gone, I feel like I should knock on my neighbor's door and offer my support. I don't even know his widow's name. I realize how distant people can be, even when they live in the same building. Do you think I should visit her? I can't imagine what my life would be like if my husband died. -- Neighbor in Mourning, Chicago
Saturday, November 17, 2018

Woman's hateful speech offends co-worker
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a woman who is clearly racist. Almost every day she comes to work, and during small talk when people typically are talking about their families or what they are going to do for the weekend, she talks about how black people are moving into her neighborhood and she wants them out. Or she brings up the immigration issue at the border and adds her perspective that immigrants should all be arrested because they are criminals.
Friday, November 16, 2018

Parents think son is involved with too many women
My son is now a young man. He is a good student in college and kind to his family. On the flip side, my husband and I see that he is too much of a lady's man. We taught him to be a gentleman and to treat women with respect. We think he is sexually involved with multiple women, and we do not condone this behavior.
Thursday, November 15, 2018

Husband doesn't want to pay for kids' college
My husband does not believe that our children need to go to college. He didn't, and he has a good job, so he figures they can do the same -- work in a trade. I didn't grow up like that. I was taught that college was a requirement.
Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Woman wants boyfriend to make intentions known
I'm pretty old-fashioned in my views. I'm one of those girls who really doesn't want to have sex until I get married; I like to take things slow.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Embarrassed son skips tutoring appointments
My son had a terrible time at school at the beginning of this year, but he seems to be turning a corner. One class remains challenging for him. I organized a tutor, but he's embarrassed to go to him.
Monday, November 12, 2018

Parent worries son wearing nail polish is gay
My son likes to wear nail polish. He gets creative with it, just like my daughter used to. I am concerned that this could mean that he is gay, even though his behavior doesn't seem like it other than the nails. I know I'm not supposed to have thoughts about his sexual identity, but I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me. This nail polish thing came out of nowhere -- at least as far as I can see -- and I just don't want him to take it too far. Soon he will be applying for college, and I don't want his nail color to be a distraction. What should I say or do?
Saturday, November 10, 2018

Dad upset by daughter's boyfriend's religion
My family is Christian, and my college-age daughter just told us that her boyfriend is Muslim. She is nervous to bring him home because my husband has made it clear to her that he thinks Muslims are dangerous.
Friday, November 9, 2018

Ex deserves praise for education award
When I learned about the award, I immediately thought I should reach out to congratulate him. When I told my girlfriends about it, they told me not to say anything. We did not have a great breakup. He was rude to me. He had already started dating somebody else, and it was messy. I'm not trying to get back with him. I just want to say congratulations on a well-deserved award. Do you think I should withhold my comments because he made a mistake several years ago?
Thursday, November 8, 2018

World Almanac
Thursday, November 8, 2018

Friend wants to reach out to woman with Alzheimer's
I was at an event last week and learned that a woman I have known for all of my professional life is suffering from Alzheimer's disease. I am devastated. She was a force in our community, and I would see her from time to time. I admit that when I have seen her in recent years, she sometimes was distant, but I chalked that up to her just being odd. Now I have learned that she is largely not mentally present. I am so sorry. I'm told that mostly she doesn't know people. I want to reach out anyway. Is it worth it?
Wednesday, November 7, 2018

On election day, harriette urges readers to vote
Today marks the midterm Election Day across the United States. I am writing to you today with a plea to fulfill your civic duty. My column is not a place for political activism per se, and I'm not trying to turn it into that now. But I do think it is important to point out what should be obvious from a politically aware but neutral point of view: The right to vote is precious.
Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Time to stop making excuses and start exercising
I have been super busy at work and unable to exercise like my doctor told me to do. I am in a slump regarding my health. I was doing so well this year getting my weight under control, but now I feel like I have gone all the way back to the beginning. I have gained back the 15 pounds I lost last year, and my motivation is shot. My doctor cautions me to lose weight in order to get off my medication. I feel like time is up for me. I'm going to the doctor soon. What should I say?
Monday, November 5, 2018

Dear Harriette
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm in the running for a new job at my company. The woman above me just quit to go to another company. It's obvious (to me, at least) that this is the perfect job for me. I think my bosses like me a lot, and they say I am doing a good job. What should I do to lobby for this position? I want to get to the next level at my company, and I feel that now is my chance. -- On the Move, Philadelphia
Saturday, November 3, 2018

Kids should reconnect with aging grandmother
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is getting up in age. While she is managing OK, I worry that my children don't spend enough time with her. We live several hours away, and what with sports and school and such, we see her only a few times a year. I try to get them to call her, but their lives are busy and filled with other priorities. I really want them to make time to connect with her. I got her a cellphone, and I FaceTime her weekly. I want them to join in. How can I get them to do it? -- Connect to Grandma, Richmond, Virginia
Friday, November 2, 2018

Reader shouldn't feel pressured to join board
I was just invited to join the community board in my town, which is wonderful. The only thing is that I am totally not available. I work two jobs, and I have a young child and a husband who works intermittently. We have a good rhythm in our home, but I'm afraid that adding anything more will upset our equilibrium.
Thursday, November 1, 2018

Daughter frustrated with suggestions for major
My daughter is in college and needs to declare a major. She is torn between several interests. When I reminded her of the things that she has shown interest in over the years, she got testy with me and didn't want to listen.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Parent wants to make sure kids vote
I have two children who are of voting age. I have been teaching them about the importance of voting since they were little. I believe my kids will vote in the primaries, but I worry about them and their friends. Kids these days seem so apathetic. How can I inspire my children and their friend group to take the midterms seriously? We need young people to wake up and participate in the political process. If I am too heavy-handed, they will ignore me. How can I get them to take action?
Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Low-paying tenant worried about getting pushed out
The wife has been complaining about lots of things in the building, and while she was complaining she told me that she pays what is comparable to three times my rent -- for the same size apartment. I didn't think it was smart to tell her what I pay. I'm concerned, though, that these high-paying neighbors may start to push the rest of us out. I have seen it before. How can I help them to feel like part of our community without giving them ammo to try to get us out of the building?
Monday, October 29, 2018

Husband bristles at thought of learning etiquette
My husband and I grew up very different from each other. His family members were all farmers, while mine were educated and spent a lot of time in so-called high society.
Saturday, October 27, 2018

Reader must decide between two parties on same night
The crazy thing is, I just got another invitation for the same evening to another event, and the second one sounds way better than the first. The second one has an amazing guest and sponsor list. It looks great. Both are receptions, not sit-down dinners. I really want to go to the second one. It feels like a better fit. I suppose I could go to both and split my time, but I don't really want to do that. What do you think is best?
Friday, October 26, 2018














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